BLOGPOLL

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	--
2	California	1
3	Ohio State	1
4	Boston College	1
5	Oklahoma	2
6	Southern Cal	4
7	South Florida	2
8	Oregon	4
9	West Virginia	2
10	Virginia Tech	5
11	Florida	3
12	South Carolina	4
13	Missouri	6
14	Wisconsin	8
15	Hawaii	3
16	Cincinnati	5
17	Kentucky	7
18	Arizona State	5
19	Illinois	7
20	Florida State	6
21	Kansas	5
22	Georgia	5
23	Texas	9
24	Purdue	4
25	Virginia	1

Dropped Out: Rutgers (#13), Michigan State (#22), Nebraska (#24), Clemson (#25).

OF COURSE NOT

Taken from this post.

DSOT: VT MELTDOWN EDITION

Along with the normal selection of drivel, we present some posts that are level headed and offer fair assessments of how most fans, including us, feel about the perennial tease that is Clemson football.

Well, uh… yeah.

Yes, let’s go with either 1) a guy who has spent his lifetime on the west coast with zero familiarity with the Southern recruiting trail and no desire to leave the Pac-10 or 2) the guy who is successfully coaching at his alma mater with 0 restrictions on recruiting idiots or criminals, he’s sure to want to jump ship to come to Clemson and have his hands tied.

Actually, I’d rather not have to read these stupid fucking questions. Why don’t you make one of those folded paper fortune tellers like all the other middle school girls?

Sometimes I wish I could be this full of hope, bathed in the bliss of ignorance. When I read this post I just pictured the scene from Reservoir Dogs where Harvey Keitel keeps telling the shot up, bloody, and dying Mr. Orange “You’re gonna be okaaaaaay! Say it! You’re not gonna fuckin’ die!” Keep holding out hope, Mr. White.

How retarded are you to type this much drivel and not realize at least a couple sentences in that it is unadulterated garbage? No, no, I’m not talking about DSOT, I mean this post.

Yeah! There’s no way the HEAD COACH can be responsible for special teams, it’s just 1/3rd of the damned gameplan, not a big deal. He’ll fix everything in the off season, just like he did between last year and this one…. oh… wait. Also, you love him? Dude.

Blah, blah, I’m old. Queue the old “We don’t need games to get drunk” line.

Come to think of it, the two guys have a lot in common.

I don’t know, the guy did coach WILLY KORN, this poster might be on to something.

Basically, for Bowden to stay, most people want him to win out, make them breakfast for a week, and give them a homemade coupon book for massages and chores around the house, fair trade I think.

My friend Biff once told me about a kid he met while counseling at summer camp who told him “Everything Kenny Loggins touches is gold.” Such knowledge and insight from children is always startling and heartwarming to hear.

The following posts are how most Clemson fans are feeling.

Done and done.

Unfortunately there’s a lot of truth to this statement, at least in regards to the administration. As always, money talks, and if the major donors want Tommy out it won’t matter what TDP thinks.

I know a slogan bantered about by a lot of people is “We’re Clemson, we’re better than that,” but I’d sorta love to not be for a couple years. I echo this guy’s sentiments almost 100%.

Want to know how DFIG feels about this Tigers team? This is it, verbatim.

THE GREATEST POST EVER

I now present you the greatest post in the history of Tigernet. Yes, that’s an ELO reference at the end. Somewhere in Seattle, Tully nods in approval.

MACALLAN CUP UPDATE

Showing a glimmer of hope that I'm not entirely out of the running, I actually had the most correct picks this week. A positive note for a weekend that was otherwise completely miserable for Clemson football fans. Still the standings haven't changed much, and other than the leader, the muddled middle seems to be keeping it close. Same system as last week, number of points next to the name, then correct picks for the week in parentheses. After showing some hope of returning to the standings last week, I think the Captain has taken himself out of the running yet again by not submitting picks again. Better luck next year buddy.

1) Sam +72 (7)
2) Tully +64 (7)
T3) Lyrtch +61 (6)
T3) Chili +61 (7)
T3) NoleCC +61 (6)
T6) Willy Mac +56 (7)
T6) Seigler +56 (8)
8) Brad +52 (6)
9) Captain +39 (0)

Better luck next week to all involved.

WE GOT BLASTED IN THE VALLEY

Yet again another game that we were forced to sit through, this time it was almost too much to bear watching us get blanked in the valley. It reminded me of the days when VT would roll into town and throw 50+ on us. Only thing is back then they had Michael Vick, and they were a national championship contender. I've never wanted to hide under a rock more than at halftime. Here is what I took away from the game:

- He's a good recruiter and I like him as a person. He also has done wonders for our facilities, graduation rate, and reputation. I'm sorry though, Bowden has to go. I don't care what you say, his time is up. He is obviously not the answer for us. He just can't get us over that hump. I can only hope that our Athletic Department realizes this sooner than later and I will wish him luck in his next endeavor when he goes.

- When is Spence going to realize that the Toledo three ring circus just won't work at this level unless you have baller talent, which we don't. Can you imagine the Raiders actually tried to hire him? Imagine how bad this offensive playbook would be in the pros.

-If there is a coaching change, I'd like to see Swinney, Koening, and Napier stay. They've earned their keep.

- I hate it for Cullen Harper, but he wasn't getting the ball to his receivers well enough. This week wasn't so much a problem with the receivers catching the ball. The problem was they had to make highlight reel efforts just to catch passes that should have been gimmes. Also, his arm has to hurt. I don't care how far down we are, you don't throw the ball 65+ times and only run the ball 12 times unless you're Texas Tech.

- This is the first time I've ever seen a score so bad and the defense not be at fault. 10-13 of VT's points were their fault. I'll take that.

- Like Chili stated before the game, I'm done with the season already. It's not that I'm a crazy superfan, it's just I'm tired of the rollercoaster. I want off. I've got motion sickness. Not saying I'm not a fan, or that I won't get excited and participate, I'm just saying I'm taking most of my eggs back out of the Clemson football basket and putting said eggs into a tailgate centric basket. Yet another year that Bowden can't produce or get us over the hump. I don't think that BC is going to lose two games and I don't think we'll beat them head to head. I don't even know if we'd beat Central Michigan right now.

- I'd love to hear Vic Koening behind closed doors. being a fly on the wall for that would be awesome. I bet you he tears up his shirts like Hulk Hogan and bleeds from the ears.

- Which coach do we get from here? And don't say Cowher. He won't ever coach college unless it's at NC State (his alma mater) and that train has left the station. No matter how much money, it ain't gonna happen. I say we pull a decent head coach from the professonial ranks like Southern Cal did.

- EKR to follow.

Bowden's best Souljah Boy impression.

NECK BUBBLE - F*CK YEAH!

In honor of playing Virginia Tech today, we're reposting the legendary Neck Bubble post. Again, we're not proud of it, but we damned sure aren't sorry for posting it.

Before we get around to previewing the VT game tomorrow, we've got to get something off our chests and just destroy a joke before it grows. Frank Beamer has a neckbubble, and this is a post about it. Brainstorming out loud, beginning.... now.
EDSBS calls it Jenkins, and says it’s similar to Krang of TMNT fame.
- I think it’s Kuato from Total Recall.

- It’s an alien.
- It’s a sac of baby spiders.
- I bet when he gets angry it kinda swells up and pulsates, but you have to be really close to him to see it undulating, like when he met with Marcus Vick to tell him he was being bounced from the team it just pulsated like there was a second heart inside of it and you could kinda see veins directly underneath the skin. And before it rains it kind of gets harder and is more tumor-like in feel.
- It jiggles like Michael J. Fox in a paint shaker in an earthquake whenever a snowstorm is about to hit Blacksburg.
- Before VT players run onto the field they rub Frank's Neckbubble.
- He got it after he slept with Holly Rowe.
- It always points to magnetic north.
- It’s a piece of uneaten turkey that he never wiped off after succumbing to its tryptophan and dozing off for a couple days.
- It’s a tiny island nation and renowned tax haven.
- It graduated summa cum laude from VT.
- He got it after Marcus Vick stomped on him during a recruiting trip (Thanks, Eddie Venter for that one).
- In Liberia it is revered as having medicinal powers and he is constantly dodging African witchdoctors trying to slice a lil giblet off of it.
- If you put your ear near it, it emanates a very high pitched humming sound.
- It's a venom sac.
- It was recently downgraded from a moon to a neckbubble, having once been known as Pluto.
- It is Beamer Ball.
- Every once in a while it will cry "Feed me!" and he must prick his finger and drop blood onto it.
- It’s his swollen medulla oblongata and it’s why he’s so ornery.
- It lactates and its milk is sold at the local Whole Foods.
- When he was young he once tried to go all Bruce Banner and doused himself with gamma rays. All he got was the neckbubble and bloody stool.
- There used to be a lot more neckbubble, but he cut part of it shaving. That chunk became known as Kevin Federline.
- When he’s not using the neckbubble, he keeps it in the VT lunchpale.
- Virginia Tech students paint his neckbubble with a fresh coat of paint with real gold in it prior to every game.
- It's all a part of us and we're all a part of the neckbubble.
- It filled in for Jay Leno twice on The Tonight Show.
- His neckbubble is a level 32 night elf in World of Warcraft.
- Frank Beamer is a Christian, but his neckbubble is Jewish.
- It received 3.5 out of 5 stars on Star Search but was beaten by a young Ray Romano.
- It has a sneaker deal with Converse.
- It's actually an alien well versed on special teams that burrowed itself into Beamer's neck when he was asleep.
- Frank Beamer is actually an interstellar cockroach, his skin is just on wrong.
- It's where he saves his "good chaws" of Redman for later.
- The neckbubble is actually the Offensive Coordinator... Bryan Stinespring is a paid actor.
- Frank actually ate his twin brother Peter in the womb, but to this day, Peter refuses to be swallowed.
- The neckbubble is actually one of Frank Beamer's ass cheeks grafted onto his face because he was horribly scarred from a fire, that's actually true.
- It calls to me in my dreams.
- It's fluent in Japanese, Korean, and Cantonese. It's studying German and it's getting pretty good.
- It's actually prosthetic. Frank Beamer just wears it for intimidation and to create awkward situations to laugh about later.
- It posts as "anonymous" on DFIG.

Yeah, we just did this, and we're not sorry, and we're not better than that.

VIRGINIA TECH PREVIEW

#15 Virginia Tech (4-1, 1-0 ACC) @ #22 Clemson (4-1, 2-1 ACC) Saturday, October 6th, 6 PM EST, ESPN HD, XM 191 (Clemson feed), XM 193 (ISP feed).

The Line: Clemson -5.5

Edge goes to:

Offense: Clemson

Defense: Push (Clemson third overall in ACC, VT fourth overall)

Special Teams: Virginia Tech

Intangibles: Clemson and the noise of Death Valley countering the mojo of the neckbubble.


Our Panel of Probably Drunk Derelicts Say:

Willy Mac: There they are. Those are my orange tinted glasses... in the trash. That loss was haunting. It wasn't Tommy's fault, it was solely placed on the players. It kind of reminded me about the Texas A&M game when we played them in College Station. Though the scores weren't similar, the effort from the Clemson bench was. We went on to drop three more in a row after that game. I say we at least lose this one due to aftershock. Then we turn around and throw down on Central Michigan. Please let me be wrong, but there were too many mistakes in that last game. I think we still play our heart out, but Virginia Tech still has too many answers. If we can pressure their quarterback (who is just awful) we might be able to pull this one off. Lastly, if we get Davis over 100 yards, and quit tryig to push CJ Spiller and let him work his own problems out, we could also improve our chances of winning. I saw a ridiculous stat the other day that stated we were 7-0 when Davis gets over 100 yards in a game. Oh, and who'd have thought that a game between South Carolina and Kentucky would have been so highly touted?

Virginia Tech 21, Clemson 17

Yeah, I don't see how this guy thought it was cool either.

Chili: That we lost to GT was not a surprise, that we looked so colossally inept in most facets of the game. Special teams, blocking, and our receivers were all pathetic. Do I think we can turn it around and beat VT? Sure, that's Clemson's MO. I also don't think VT has near the team they did last year. Tommy's Law, which I'll probably have to mention more than I care to this season, holds sway again, meaning either we win fairly easily or lose masterfully. I don't even care anymore.

Neckbubbles X, Rollercoaster Express Y

[I AM NOT EVEN USING A DELIGHTFUL PICTURE. BOOM.]

Seigler: I'm really not believing that we're favored in this game. Based on the meltdown we saw last weekend though, and the fact that I'll actually be at this game, I think the prediction might be accurate. I don't think we'll let VT dominate us again. Tommy knows this might be this season's key victory, and the one that might allow him to keep his job. Each year he defeats a team he's not supposed to , while getting embarrassed by a lesser opponent. This year, I think VT will be the team that keeps him around ( as if anyone thinks his job's really in danger). I think Clemson's defense will do fine this game, our special teams might kill us again though. Harper and the rest of the offense, particularly the line, are going to have to step it up or things will get very ugly. I'm really thinking that we might see Willy Korn this game. I know it wasn't really Harper's fault so much last game as his lack of protection, but I wanted to predict his fall from grace before the GT game. For fear of jinxing us (which I might have just for thinking it), I withheld my comments hoping that I was going to be wrong. I'm going to step over the line now though and say if he's not getting the job done ( ie, a one TD lead by half time, minimum) we'll see Korn come in and try his luck. This might be Harper's last game as a starter, as I'm predicting that Tommy might be looking to bench him ( based on the fact that Korn shot to the top of the depth chart during pre-season, and Korn might think of transferring if he doesn't get more playing time, just thoughts though). Despite all the politics involved, I think this will be a heck of a game. One I am certainly going to enjoy. We've got something to prove now, and if we have hope of getting anywhere this season we'll have to start on Saturday. In a close and hard fought game Clemson redeems themselves in the end.

Clemson 21 Virginia Tech 17

IM ON UR HILL, RUBBN UR ROCK

The following is a Terry Don Philips statement that he made on the "VT Hill Running"rumor that some goon on Tigernet spread and some other goon furthered on Facebook. It reads verbatim from the article posted on the CUAD website. Finally, the self important retards (I know, but hey, if the King of self important retards is telling you that you have a problem, you might want to get that checked out) on TigerNet have to make up some other rumor to start a small brush fire with.

"We received a plethora of emails and calls this past week concerning information on the Internet that Virginia Tech would be running down The Hill.

Someone even wrote a letter using my name stating as much. I have filed a police report in an effort to determine the source.

For whatever the reason, people often take information that is put forward on the Internet as the truth and give it undue credibility.

In this case, it was no more than bold-faced, outright fraud.

Regarding such issues of volatility, people need to take whatever they see on the internet with a grain of salt.

Anytime there is something on the Internet with some sensitivity, we can expect volumes of emails -- pro or con. However, we can not spend the entire day answering emails.

As a matter of practice, we do review all emails. However, when the volume is high, we simply can not answer each one individually.

If we did something absurd -- like allow another team to run down The Hill -- then people have every right to voice their indignation and outrage. But to do so simply because of the Internet is not prudent nor reasonable.

The bottom line - you can not believe everything you see on the Internet."

In Solid Orange,
Terry Don Phillips
Director Of Athletics

TDP is shocked and infuriated with your internet faggotry, TigerNet.

MACALLAN CUP RESULTS

Here are the results. This was a rough week for nearly everyone, but still our current leader extended his lead by out picking the rest of us. My performance was a lot like Clemson's this past week, I think abysmal was the word The State used. The number in parentheses beside the current score is the number of correct picks this week.

1) Sam +65 (11)
2) Tully +57 (9)
T3) Lyrtch +55 (8)
T3) Chili +55 (9)
5) NoleCC +54 (9)
6) Willy Mac +49 (9)
7) Seigler +48 (6)
8)Brad +46 (0)
9) Captain +39 (11)

FANTASY BASEBALL RESULTS

Perhaps fantasy baseball should be based a little more on talent

Note to self, never play Sambo in any fantasy sport... for money.

First Place in the league tournament goes to Korn for God 2008 (Sambo)
Second Place to Dustin Diamondbacks (Tom W)
Third Place to AIDS Monkeys (Chili)

The rest of the league looked like this:
4. Oneeyedwonderweasels (Seigler)
5. plez u power (Jake E)
6. Herro Radies (Tully)
7. Eric Byrnes Joints ( Nathan)
8. Jesus' Curveball ( Willy Mac)

Sam was also the regular season champion and number one overall seed for the tournament with the tournament seeds shaking out like this.
1. Korn for God
2. AIDS Monkeys
3.Herro Radies
4. plez u power
5. Oneeyedwonderweasels
6.Dustin Diamondbacks

Thanks to everyone who participated for the entire season. I know this league got kind of screwed up when four of our managers decided not to participate after only one week. Hopefully next season we'll get some more dedicated people. Perhaps even offer prizes or something. Congratulations again to Sam, hopefully he won't really sweep all DFIG fantasy leagues.

BLOGPOLL WEEK 6

Here's our preliminary entry for the MGoBlog Blogpoll. Like last week, comment with your suggestions and we'll tweak the poll before we submit it on Wednesday.

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	1
2	Southern Cal	1
3	California	4
4	Ohio State	2
5	Boston College	4
6	Wisconsin	5
7	Oklahoma	4
8	Florida	3
9	South Florida	7
10	Kentucky	5
11	West Virginia	7
12	Oregon	2
13	Rutgers	1
14	Texas	6
15	Virginia Tech	5
16	South Carolina	1
17	Georgia	1
18	Hawaii	1
19	Missouri	6
20	Purdue	6
21	Cincinnati	5
22	Michigan State	1
23	Arizona State	1
24	Nebraska	1
25	Clemson	11

Dropped Out: Penn State (#21), Alabama (#22).