21 August 2008


Sometimes a piece of journalistic brilliance touches a part of your soul. Even the much maligned sports journalist can whip up a bit of literary magic every now and again that brings to light the human equation in the world of athletics. Then there's this gem from ESPN's Chris Sheridan in a recent article about the Team USA's march through the Olympics.

Deron Williams couldn't talk about the play of the night immediately after the game, because he was the Team USA player randomly selected to take a doping test afterward.

Perhaps he tested positive for that little-known substance called "gamechange-amine."


Sheridan needs 100 cc's of "cockpunch-amine" stat.

Furthermore, Sheridan is such a negative Nancy I don't know whether to hate the guy or salute his persistence in pooh-poohing the "Redeem Team." His coverage of Team USA basically goes like this:

Coach K chosen as head coach.

Sheridan blasts choice, predicts losses.

Team roster announced.

Sheridan blasts roster choices, predicts losses.

Schedule comes out.

Sheridan predicts losses.

Team USA blows out opponents, on to the medal rounds.

Sheridan says meh. Repeat.

Also, in this photo Chris Sheridan looks like the head sister from the Shawshank Redemption if he had cancer and was stuck in an airlock and his eyes had started to bug out from the pressure.

Oh, hi. When I'm not writing about sports I'm raping men in depression era New England prisons.