27 September 2006

KUDOS AND SHIT IN MY CHICKEN SALAD

The purpose of this post is to inform you wee people of my favorite college football trends to date. I can hardly see ya'll from my soap box. Also, check out www.scalpem.com and vote for Danny Ford in the poll.

Kudos

RUTGERS - That's right, I'm jumping on the band wagon and holding on for dear life. Expect me to leap the week they actually play a good opponent. This would probably be the Thursday night game against Louisville (Nov. 6 @ Rutgers). The jump off week could occur as early as the Navy game in two weeks (Oct. 14 @ Navy). Given the bye week to rest and tune up, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Another looming snake in the grass would be UConn (Oct. 29 @ Rutgers). The schedule after South Florida is a doozy. And for Rutgers fans, that's the schedule AFTER South Florida.

ARMY - These Knights are blacknot. These Knights are Black.............NOT (Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan in theaters Nov. 3). After a close loss to Texas A&M, I'm in. These guys have heart and I respect that because they're playing college football knowing that they will not go ot the next level. They've got heart, and for once in a long time, they seem as if they could go to a bowl two years in a row. This is a hard buy if they don't get seven wins because Army doesn't travel well and six wins with no fans or money isn't enough to make any shitty bowl select a team. The cadets will be happy though.

TEAMS SHITTING IN MY CHICKEN SALAD

I know that the FGF trolls google "Danny Ford, God, 'How to beat futility'" everyday, so go ahead and kindly fuck yourself if you're a Gamecock fan. This following is not biased... in the least.

SOUTH CAROLINA - I can't wait to see Auburn take care of any bit of hope Gamecock fans have on their season outlook. You gotta love the month of September. The Gamecocks are 3 - 1 (and in my opinion they should've gotten beaten by MSU if there had been a decent QB in the game) and now that October is rolling around, the SEC is prepared for it's annual mugging of USC. I can already here it, "the only reason Clemson won is cause we got beat up so badly." If you wanna beat us so bad, join a easier conference. I expect Kenny Irons to give USC payback for not letting him run the ball by... well, by running all over them. Unfortunately, Spurrier has lost the touch and will die a slow and painful death at USC. Let's just hope the USC playcaller doesn't let his team get so out of hand they start a fight they can't finish in his last game.

TENNESSEE - After a close win against Air Force (keep in mind, ESPN ranked Air Force as one of the bottom ten teams at the beginning of the season), and a close loss to a good Florida team, and an unimpressive win over a bad Marshall, Tennessee WILL lose again, soon and badly. This most likely will come against Georgia (Oct. 7 @ Georgia, ESPN, 7:45 PM). That is, if Georgia can sort out what happened at their embarrassing game this past Saturday against Colorado where they barely pulled out a W in the final minutes of the game.

The forecast for Gamecocks this weekend is lots of Kenny Irons in the endzone.

Chili's Piggy Back Post

The NC State Technician reports that swaying stands and raucous crowds aren't the only effects of stadium overcrowding. It seems that students were forced to stay in their seats for fear of not being readmitted into their section and resorted to pissing where they stood. Student body president Will Quick (great name, by the way) stated that everyone knew Wolfpack fans were way into watersports: "I have heard reports of individuals being splashed by urine."
NC State joins the University of Georgia in the elite league of proud stadium pissers. If you aren't sure what I mean, attend a game at Sanford Stadium and tell me you don't see people pissing off the edge of the upper deck at some point in the game.
Is the story here that Staters were pissing themselves or that any part of Carter-Finley is actually overcrowded?
Also, check out Baby Toupees. It's really creepy, but when I have a kid he's wearing a toupee until he gets a sensible coiffure on his soft lil noggin.