CHICK-FIL-A BOWL PREVIEW

#15 Clemson (9-3) @ #23 Auburn (8-4). Monday, December 31st, 7:30 PM, ESPN, at the Georgia Dome, Atlanta.

Line: Clemson -3

Edge Goes To:

Offense: Clemson - The Tigers with a lake have scored over 100 more points this season than Auburn. Auburn gets credit for a new offensive coordinator, but it remains to be seen if the team can install a new system in a few short weeks and be ready for Clemson.

Defense: Auburn - The other Tigers feature a stifling defense that's giving up less than 17 points per game.

Special Teams: Push, because we don't know shit about Auburn's special teams.

Intangibles: Clemson will be without two starting linebackers, Tremaine Billie and Nick Watkins and starting guard Christian Capote for academics, or lack thereof. Courtney Vincent, late of a DUI arrest, might make for a benched staring linebacker trifecta. Auburn has installed a new offense, and Clemson will have little time to prepare. Auburn's offense could best be described as anemic this season, so a new scheme may not do much to help a woeful squad. Clemson last played in the Peach Bowl in 2003 when they defeated the #6 ranked Tennessee Volunteers.

Our Take:

Chili: Windows Vista ate his computer.

Willy Mac: Whoo boy, missing two linebackers on a young defense and a tackle on a young offensive line is no good. Before the three suspensions I thought we had a great chance at blowing this game open early and shutting up the SEC chest pounders early in the first half. Even after the suspensions I had a little bit to gather myself back up and think positive but something about being here in Atlanta just doesn't seem right. I really am scared. Could the team that shit the bed against UGA turn around and woodshed us? This game has been a historically close game for us, even though we've lost a lot more than we've won here in the Peach. I know they have an embarrassing offense but their defense is scary good. Like, good enough to beat us like the Bears did to the Cardinals that one time via defensive touchdowns. We could be as fake as Tila Tequila, but lets hope not.

Auburn 24, Clemson 13

MERRY CHRISTMAS! JOYOUS KWANZAA!

I hope you guys had a good holiday. Mine didn't go so well when my grandpa showed up.

"I don't care whatchoo got now!"

REMINDER

Just a friendly reminder that if you've entered our Big Fat Bowl Challenge on Yahoo! you need to get your picks in before the first bowl game tomorrow. Good luck.

HOLD YOUR BREATH, CROSS YOUR FINGERS

The major news outlets are reporting that things are a-jumble in Clemson's Peach Bowl picture. Chris Capote (OT), Nick Watkins (MLB), and Tramaine Billie (LB) are all three out due to being ruled academically ineligible to play. All three are fifth year seniors. All three are definitely out. Also, linebacker Courtney Vincent was pulled over for a DUI charge but is still practicing with the team and is still expected to play. Word on the street says that essentially he was pulled for a minor reason and it was suspected he had been drinking. He blew below the legal limit on a breathalyzer but the police were legally allowed to take him in to supervise him (an old cop trick to allow the rest of the alcohol to be fully absorbed by the bloodstream so his blood alcohol content would eventually go over the legal limit and they could formally charge him). The cops observed him and tried to give him another test and he waived the test, so they arrested him and charged him. His trial is scheduled for January, so till then he's still on the team.

WHAT IF: WILLY MAC'S DREAM TEAM OF COACHES

Throughout this whole pre-bowl coach swap drama that's been going on in the college football world (not to mention our own brush with said drama) , I sat back and thought about how awesome it would be to go back in time through different eras with wanton disregard for the space/time continuum as well as the lines of reality with boatloads of cash to create my own hyper-masculine, bad-assed coaching staff for Clemson. I sought out coaches with certain characteristics and talents they might be able to teach to our team of youngsters. I have compiled some pretty pictures and flashy youtube clips for your enjoyment as a part of their respective resumes. This list can also be swapped for a super crime fighting force, but I'd rather have them coaching at Clemson myself.

Defense

Defensive line - Steve Lattimer
Nowadays he's busy being a chainsaw wielding psychopath, but back in the early 90s his business was hitting people so hard that they got snot bubbles. If you've ever seen the movie The Program then you know what I'm talking about. Sure he had a few run ins with the NCAA drug testing officials but I always say everyone deserves a second chance... or a third, whatever. Just don't get caught this time.

No resume need be submitted other than the following video clips:

That's commitment. Stick-to-it-iveness. Putting the teams needs before your own.

That's the type of energetic coach we need.

Linebackers and Defensive Coordinator - "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan

Jim Duggan: King of ass-kicking.

Going with the energetic theme, I think Duggan would be the perfect addition. Granted, you can't understand a word he says, but just think about how riled up he gets people. Defense is supposed to be chaotic anyways. Perhaps not this chaotic, but still... can you imagine 80+ thousand people chanting "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!" and some Furman player going "But... we're from... America, too? These Clemson folks are some crazy fuckers."

I can only imagine a film session with him would be nothing short of entertaining. Nothing would get accomplished. "You shoulda been coverin' the flats and you blew your assignment! HOOOOOOOO!"

Defensive backs - Apollo Creed

We need the Apollo Creed from the original Rocky. The one that was a bad ass. The one that didn't like anyone if they weren't named Apollo Creed.

We're talking about speed, fast footwork, hitting people with your hands, and an arrogance/confidence hybrid. Who else would be perfect for the job? Let's just hope that there are no in conference opponents that have wide receivers that are seven feet tall, from Russia, and have inhuman strength. Also, Creed's entourage (to include a very drugged out James Brown constantly singing "Living in America" and that trainer that never really said anything till Rocky VI) would probably make things much more interesting and fun.


Offense

Offensive line - E. Honda

He could also maybe have some new ideas for eye black designs.

He is most known for his roles in the Street Fighter gaming series. I'll have to admit, he was not my first option for an offensive line coach. After contractual talks with the Juggernaut fell through, my administration was hard pressed to find a new candidate. Upon hearing that Mr. Honda was available and seeking a new job, we gave him a rang. Yes, he still has lighting fast hands and yes, he still uses his body as a projectile to take out opponents.

Quarterbacks - Tommy Frazier

"Simply untacklable" - The definition of Tommy Frazier found in the standard version of Merriam-Webster.

I was hard pressed as I had three candidates in mind. Jim McMahon would have been too drunk to stand, let alone coach ("I'm too drunk, you got me!"). Woody Dantzler was my next choice, but something told me to go with Tommy. There were a few reasons I chose Frazier. The first being that he did so well for life to turn around and take a dump on him. The second being my man needs a job and that's one less trip I'd have to take in my time machine (Duke Power's billing center thanks me for one less "Obscene Overuse Statement" that they would have had to file). Lastly and most importantly, aside from Bowden, he's the most experienced person when it comes to embarrassing a Steve Spurrier coached team in a nationally televised game.

Running backs -Tecmo Bo

Be honest, if you've ever played Tecmo Bowl back in the day, you knew that you were playing with the Bills because of Thurman Thomas, or the Raiders cause of Bo Jackson. Perhaps he could teach our running backs of his secrets. Tired of the Bowden approach of trying to win/tie games at the least second via kicking an awkwardly spotted, distant prayer of a field goal, why not just expire the remaining time you would use on the final drive in one single running play culminating with a touchdown? Somewhere Danny Ford is enjoying an ice cold PBR and nodding with approval.

Simply maddening. If you weren't on Bo's team, you lost. My cousin's gaming skills still haunt me to this day. This is also a great example of the most effective way to outrun eleven pink alligators.

Receivers - Charlie Tweeder
Tweeder was an all-state receiver out of West Canaan High in Texas that had a largely unknown yet stellar career at a small division 1-AA school. Although he is the equivalent to a loose cannon on a rolling deck, his recruitment skills would be perfect to pick up where the current staff would leave off.

Just a few quotes that might help break the ice for recruits on a visit talking with Tweeder:
"Hey you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance?... [Tweeder dances] You know what it's called?... The new Tweeder end zone dance."
"...Bitches are all just panty droppers. You understand? That's it... give 'em Percocet, two Vicoden and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It's very nice... It's niiiiiice."
"[Insert recruit name here] you're under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue, now take off your clothes and get in the police car."

A kind of guy that the kids could relate to. He'd be great on the recruiting trail.

Head coach and Offensive Coordinator - Danny Ford
This was a no brainer, huh? I would go back to January 19, 1990 and pick up that Danny as he'd be the best version we could get. I would have a few stipulations he'd probably be more than willing to agree with. One of those would be to just get rid of tight ends all together and to recruit more fullbacks and linemen. The next would be to get back to Clemson hard nosed football.

Rumors and lore state that after a ball game if coach Ford thought the officials did a good job and if his team won he sent a few cases of beer over to the officials locker room. Ah the glory days of college football before political correctness, NCAA investigators, and news media red tape got involved.

Special Teams - Ultimate Warrior
Special teams don't make any sense to me. Plus you don't really need a pep talk. You just need someone to sound like they're straining to shit out a twenty pound bowling ball while flexing their muscles and then say "Smear the fuckin' queer." Although, he might try to force some really conservative bat shit crazy Republican values on our guys, resulting in the same kinda problems we have now... no... wait... nothing is worse than what we have now. Go, Warrior go. Plus, who else is better than turning momentum around in a fight?

Yeah... what he said... Now go out there... and... uh... yeah.

BIG FAT BOWL CHALLENGE

Just a reminder to register for the Big Fat Bowl Challenge: We'll be conducting this thing online via Yahoo! Fantasy Sports. Please register here and enter the following info to join our group:
Group ID #: 22759
Password: levigarrett

CARL THINKS THIS IS BULLSHIT

POST AND COURIER REPORTS TOMMY STAYING

Link to the article.

The Clemson Board of Trustees was called into an emergency personnel meeting this morning to approve a new contract for Bowden and possible extensions for him and his assistants.

DUMB SHIT ON TIGERNET.... COACHING MELTDOWNNNNNN

If Danny came back to coach the Peach, we'd have to have a badass late 70's black and white montage with this as the theme music. A las, these thoughts will only live on as dreams and dreams only.

The master plan revealed!


Personally I hope our new coach is more devoutly Christian than Tommy was. I heard there was a guy named Yusef on the team once, and I am NOT comfortable with that. Old testament names from now on, please. Don't even get me started on that snitch who went to the ACLU.


I would assume it'll be confused, painfully unfunny, and generally dumb. Coaches can change but boards cannot.

He made me laugh and cry. A fun 9 year run. Tommy Bowden, ladies and gentlemen; a football coach or a broadway show?

Touche'.

If Danny came back to coach the Peach, we'd win it by so much they'd fly us to New Orleans to play the winner of the championship game. Bank on it.

YOU'RE A LIAR! THE GAME NEVER PASSED DANNY BY, HE PASSED THE GAME BY!

This is the SEC, y'all. This is a big deal.

Oh yes, let's get the board's opinion.

Someone made a post saying "i am a hot girl please explain the coaching situation to me" and CHAOS ensues. Of course everyone saying they're a hot chick online is a hot chick, amirite?

In mere minutes, the board is flooded.

*jacking stops*

TOMMYBOWDENISGONE.COM?

Coach Tommy Bowden is one of three candidates for the now vacant Arkansas head coaching job, along with Michigan DC Ron English former Arkansas assistant Gus Malzahn. Sources say Tommy is the top choice and Arkansas is ready to offer him over 2 million dollars a year. According to this article from the Hogs' Scout.com page, an offer has been made by Arkansas and Clemson has made a counter that a Clemson sources thinks probably won't be enough to keep Bowden. Conflicting reports continue to state that Bowden has no desire to leave Clemson. Coach Bowden has been quoted as saying he'd stay as long as Clemson wants him, though how much of Clemson actually wants him is up for debate. As is the norm, all of this stuff is highly speculative and subject to the old "an inside source says" gimmick, so take it with a grain of salt.

As reported earlier, Terry Don Phillips and Coach Bowden had been in contract extension talks, but word is that Tommy was only being offered a raise of "only" 400K, but more importantly his buyout would be lowered to 500K. It is highly likely that Tommy is only using the Arkansas interview and subsequent speculation to get a longer, fatter contract with the Tigers.

**Update - Judging from this article on the Charleston Post & Courier website, Bowden has revealed to sources close him that he is staying. Thanks for nothing, Arkansas. It's apparent that Tommy got one of his old buddies (Jeff Long, Arkansas AD) to help him reach deeper into Clemson's pockets. All I'm saying is that you'd better produce Tommy. - Willy Mac

LIVING VICARIOUSLY

A Tigernetter pointed out this pathetic display of standard Gamecock fan behavior on display on the Auburn boards. Time and again, this year and in years previous, Gamecock fans flood Clemson opponents' messageboards to plead for that team to do what theirs cannot. Pathetic is the only way to aptly sum it up. Pathetic also describes the Sakerlina fan named "31-28Cocky." How sad is it that a Carolina victory over Clemson is so rare and special to them that one of them names their online handle after the score of the game? And is he going to change the handle now? As always they fall behind SEC chestthumping because the best thing going for them is the abusive company they keep. Gamecock fans: living vicariously through good teams since, well, forever.

BIG FAT BOWL CHALLENGE

Guess who's not in a bowl? (stolen from Tigernet)

Time for the 2nd Annual Big Fat Bowl Challenge. Everyone is eligible to enter. Copy and paste this list into an email, leaving only your pick to win beside each respective bowl game. Mail your picks to feedback (at) dannyfordisgod.com by December 19 11:59 PM EST. Winner gets our respect and admiration and a big shout out.

December 20
San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl - Navy vs. Utah

December 21
R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl - Memphis vs. Fla. Atlantic

December 22
Papajohns.com Bowl - Southern Miss vs. Cincinatti
New Mexico Bowl - Nevada vs. New Mexico
Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl - UCLA vs. BYU

December 23
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl - Boise State vs. East Carolina

December 26
Motor City Bowl - Central Michigan vs. Purdue

December 27
Pacific Life Holiday Bowl - Arizona State vs. Texas

December 28
Texas Bowl - Houston vs. TCU
Champs Sports Bowl - Boston College vs. Michigan State
Emerald Bowl - Maryland vs. Oregon State

December 29
Meineke Car Care Bowl - UConn vs. Wake Forest
Autozone Liberty Bowl - UCF vs. Mississippi State
Valero Alamo Bowl - Penn State vs. Texas A&M

December 30
Petrosun Independence Bowl - Alabama vs. Colorado

December 31
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl - California vs. Air Force
Roady's Humanitarian Bowl - Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State
Brut Sun Bowl - South Florida vs. Oregon
Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl - Kentucky vs. Florida State
Chick-fil-A Bowl - Clemson vs. Auburn
Insight Bowl - Indiana vs. Oklahoma State

January 1
Outback Bowl - Wisconsin vs. Tennessee
AT&T Cotton Bowl - Missouri vs. Arkansas
Gator Bowl -Texas Tech vs. Virginia
Capital One Bowl - Michigan vs. Florida
Rose Bowl Presented by Citi - Illinois vs. USC
Allstate Sugar Bowl - Hawaii vs. Georgia

January 2
Tostitos Fiesta Bowl - Oklahoma vs. West Virginia

January 3
FedEx Orange Bowl - Virginia Tech vs. Kansas

January 5
International Bowl - Rutgers vs. Ball State

January 6
GMAC Bowl - Bowling Green vs. Tulsa

January 7
Allstate BCS Championship Game - LSU vs. Ohio State

TIGERS VS. TIGERS IN THE CHICK-FIL-A-BOWL

It's still Peach to me, dammit!
Word is out that Clemson will be heading to the Chick-fil-A Bowl to battle the Auburn Tigers on December 31. Clemson also met Auburn in the 1998 Peach Bowl, where they lost 21-17. Clemson Sports Travel has some travel and hotel packages if you're heading down for the game. This will be Clemson's 7th trip to the Peach (CFA) Bowl, they sport an all-time record of 2-4 in the game, the most recent trip being a 27-14 triumph over then no. 6 Tennessee in 2003.

MACALLAN CUP FINAL STANDINGS

Congratulations to Sam who took home the 2007 Macallan Cup. Sam led for pretty much the whole second half of the season. He takes home a nice big bottle of Macallan 18 or a similar fine adult beverage.

Final Standings

1. Sam - 132 pts
2. Tully - 130 pts
3. Chili - 127 pts
4. Lyrtch - 126 pts
5. Seigler - 125 pts
6. Willy Mac - 111 pts
7. NoleCC - 104 pts
8. Brad - 52 pts
9. Captain - 39 pts

Once bowl game assignments are finalized, we'll set up a new group for our 2nd Big Fat Bowl Challenge.

"Damnit, I wanted that booze."

EXTREME KORN REPORT: MT KORNMORE #1

PRESENTING THE FIRST ANNUAL MT. KORNMORE, IT'S LIKE THE HALL OF FAME OF HALLS OF FAME... OF AWESOMENESS.

CHUCK D (PUBLIC ENEMY, POINDEXTER) ONCE AKSED "BASS. HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?" WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BRO. I'VE BEEN PRETTY LOW WHAT WITH THE MOST RADICAL PLAYER TO PUT ON FOOTBALL PADS STUCK ON THE SIDELINES. CHUCK D ALSO SAID "SOUL ON A ROLL BUT YOU TREAT IT LIKE SOAP ON A ROPE." I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT ITS POETIC. IN A TOTALLY STRAIGHT WAY, UNLIKE MOST POETRY I READ INSIDE OF BATHROOM STALLS. SO WHILE I COULDN'T WATCH KORN ON THE FIELD I PUT MY EFFORTS INTO FINDING EXAMPLES OF KORNNESS (NOT KORNINESS DAMNIT, THAT'S HACK) IN POP CULTURE.

IN THE SPIRIT OF WILLIAM KORN, I HAVE ASSEMBLED THE FIRST "MT KORNMORE" OF BADASSES. FROM LEFT TO RIGHT WE HAVE:

TOM BERENGER FROM PLATOON: DON'T SLEEP ON YOUR PATROL DUTY OR HE'LL MURDER YOUR DREAMS. HE OUT-GRIZZLED WILLEM DAFOE, AND THAT'S A HELL OF A TASK. SOMETIMES I CONFUSE HIM WITH TOM BERGERON. MY B (BAD). THIS WAS A TOSSUP BETWEEN BERENGER IN SNIPER OR BERENGER IN PLATOON AND IT CAME DOWN TO GOOGLE IMAGES, BASICALLY.

BILL MURRAY FROM KINGPIN: HE HAD FULL SEX WITH WOMEN, HAD RAGING AWESOME HAIR, AND HAD A FIERY COMPETITIVE SPIRIT.

BILL DANCE FROM EVERY FISHING SHOW EVER: YOU CAN GIVE A MAN A FISH OR YOU CAN TEACH HIM TO FISH AND GIVE HIM A FISHING SHOW THAT PLAYS IN PERPETUITY ON CHANNEL 554 ON YOUR SATELLITE. NOT ONLY HAS HE BEEN ROCKING THE BUG EYE GLASSES SINCE BEFORE KANYE AND THE TRUCKER HAT BEFORE ASHTON (KUTCHER, SILLY) HE COULD PROBABLY STILL CATCH FISH LIKE A MUG IF HE WERE PARALYZED FROM THE NECK DOWN.

MICKEY ROURKE FROM THE POPE OF GREENWICH VILLAGE: IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, GO, NOW. JUST PRETEND THAT WILLY KORN IS MICKEY ROURKE AND WILL PROCTOR IS ERIC ROBERTS. SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.

NOW, ON TO OUR MAN KORN.

I GET LITERALLY SEVERAL EMAILS A MONTH ASKING ME, NO BEGGING THE EKR TO THE CLEMSON RESEARCH DEPARTMENT BETTER GET ON SOME STEM CELL RESEARCH OR SOME SHIT TO FIX KORN'S SHOULDER. WELL I'M JUST A MAN, AND I CAN'T DO THAT. I COULDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CAMPUS TO ASK. OUTSIDE OF THE RESTRAINING ORDER PLACED ON ME BY CLEMSON (THEY DON'T LIKE YOU DRUNKENLY STALKING YOUR FAVORITE PLAYERS, WHO KNEW?), I HAD A RUN IN WITH JOHNNY LAW AND NOW CAN ONLY TRAVEL BY MOPED. NOT EXTREME!!! WELL THAT'S LIFE. AS FOR WHAT EKR'S FAVORITE PLAYER HAS BEEN UP TO SINCE ASPLODING HIS SHOULDER BONE, I'VE HEARD SOME RUMORS. SOME SAY HE HAS BEEN HITCHHIKING TOWARDS THE ALASKAN WILDERNESS TO GO LIVE IN A BUS. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE BUT I KNOW WILLY KORN IS THE BIG MAN ON CAMPUS AND ALSO WOULD'VE IMPREGNATED LIKE 3 WHOLE SORORITIES BY NOW, BUT WILLY KORN IS A GENTLEMAN, AND WILLY KORN PULLS OUT. WILLY KORN TEMPORARILY TRANSFERRED TO FLORIDA AND HAS BEEN PLAYING UNDER THE ALIAS "TIM TEBOW." HE PLAYED IN THE CAROLINA GAME UNDER THE "AKA" "NELSON FAERBER." HE LED A SLAVE REBELLION IN THE ITALIAN PENINSULA UNDER HIS SLAVE NAME: SPARTACUS.

EKR, UNEXPECTED OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

THIS LIL DUDE JUST SAW WILLY KORN IN THE FLESH.

DUMB SHIT ON TIGERNET 18: DUMB HARDER

For the 18th installment of DSOT, the hot issue is Tommy Bowden's contract extension. Enjoy.


Posts like this are the reason I'm sick of Tigernet. It's not so much that there's a big, dumb herd mentality, it's more that it's a big, dumb herd mentality that refuses to pay any mind to any opinions that differ from theirs.



I'M SO ANGRY AT YOU FOR NOT LIKING TOMMY BOWDEN THAT I WANT TO WET YOU DOWN AND ANALLY PENETRATE YOU... wait... what?



This guy is one of the dopes who thinks you have to be a Bowden uber-fan or you're not a Clemson fan. This guy is probably just some sidewalk alum who has only been around for the Tommy West/Tommy Bowden era and only sets foot on campus on Saturdays. I've said it before, I'm a graduate of Clemson University, not Bowden University. Doesn't mean I hate the guy, but it means I put the greater good of the school and its team ahead of one man.



Some of my favorite posts are when some of the Tigernetters try to sound slick and clever. Why aren't people outraged just as much at basketball's collapse as they were at football's collapse? Because one is Clemson basketball... and the other is Clemson football. One coach has been there 9 years, the other 4. One program has multiple postseason victories and All-Americans, the other has a WNBA coach as their most famous alum.




Yeah, because you have to be a high level athletics administrator to say anything negative about our team or coach! Prior to stating that I might have reservations about playcalling or coaching in general I better have the right credentials, because surely being a fan or alumni only allows you the right to go to games, clap, or shut the fuck up. If I'm criticizing I must be an enraged, fanatic moron! I must be a genius to criticize coaching. Yeah, well I guess technically it would take a genius to comprehend why we throw three yards behind the first down marker on third down consistently and refuse to run the ball with our top-tier backfield in goal line situations when it counts most. It would definitely take a fucking mental giant to comprehend that.

You know who else slammed all dissenting voices?

That's right... NAZIS.



Another type of post that never fails to amuse me are these desperate missives meant to appeal to the nonexistent football recruits who are "constantly" cruising Tigernet. I'm friends with a lot of current and past Clemson players, and I can assure you, while they sometimes check out Rivals or Scout, the fringe messageboards are virtually nonexistent to them. Hell I can barely stand to wade through the shit on Tigernet to cull these gems, you think a recruit wants to slop through the intellectual wasteland to maybe see his name mentioned?



Thank God there are still some posters like this on Tigernet to not make it a complete and utter embarrassment of sunshine pumping loonies. Most, if not all, of his sentiments have been echoed by us here at DFIG.



Of course the minute someone posts a thoughtful and well conceived post that goes against the grain they are immediately blasted. I swear to God some of these people are actually proud of being "top Tigernet posters." That's like being the tallest midget at the circus, people. Wakka wakka.



Although I did laugh at this a little bit.



Maybe one of the greatest posts I've ever seen on Tigernet.

COACHING CHANGE CHALLENGE

Okay, readers. Here's a chance to show your prognostication skills. Here's a list (correct as of 11/29) of most vacant coaching positions in D-1. Submit ASAP your list of who you think gets the job. The winner will be announced... whenever the positions are full. Refer to this ESPN page for updates on hirings.

**Update: Sources are saying Tuberville to Arkansas as of 11PM Thursday night.

Arkansas
Auburn
Colorado State
Duke
Georgia Tech
Michigan
Nebraska
Washington State

If you want you can double speculate and tell us what coach will fill the position vacated by a coach you figure will go to one of these schools, for example Jimbo Fisher to LSU to replace Les Miles to Michigan. Easy.

BRIEF CLEMSON INJURY UPDATE AND NEWS

The above billboard is located on I-26 near Harbison, beside the Jamil Shrine Temple in Columbia. Chili and I feel that it's completely hilarious, but also completely obnoxious and classless at the same time. If something like this had been put up outside Clemson after last year's game you bet we'd climb up and spray paint the bitch. I think Clemson fans have finally had enough of all the talking from the USC victory last year and we're starting to show our teeth.

Injuries

- It turns out that James Mays's injury isn't as bad as first thought. Originally, James was thought as to have had a hip fracture that would have put him out until the beginning of ACC play. Secondary scans done of his hip showed that there was no fracture at all and that it's actually just a bad sprain. New estimates have him coming back for the tail end of the San Juan Shootout.

- Sam Perry had knee surgery and is also expected to make a comeback for the San Juan Shootout. I think we did pretty well against Purdue seeing as we had two major players out for that game.

- Jarvis Jenkins had minor wrist surgery. Chris McDuffie had his elbow scoped and cleaned up. Finally, Cullen Harper had arthroscopic surgery on his throwing shoulder. Also removed from Cullen were three .45 slugs, a blowgun dart, a few tiger shark teeth, a metal cleat spike, the tip of a bayonet, a three inch nail, and what amounted to be two handfuls of buckshot. All three will be back for the bowl game.

News

- As per the heavily Gamecock based The State newspaper, a chance to go to the Chik-Fil-A bowl for Clemson has become a bit better. For Clemson fans the article should read: "If Virginia Tech beats BC, Clemson goes to the Chik-Fil-A bowl." Since it was probably written by a USC fan/alum, it actually reads: "Oh yeah, Clemson is a shoe in for the Peach... or are they? Yeah they are. Or are they?"

- Thomas Austin gets the ACC Linemen of the Week award as he graded out at 87 percent for the South Carolina game. That performance included eight pancake blocks.

MY SEASON END SECOND LOOK AT BOWDEN (AKA WILLY MAC'S BOWDEN APOLOGIST LETTER, v 2.2)

Are we still in good hands? Should we stay the course, as always?

In early June of this year I wrote an article entitled "The Pros (And Cons) of Ditching Tommy Bowden." Well now that the regular season has ended and not only are we once again not even playing for the ACC title, Mr. Bowden is licking his chops and getting ready to restructure his contract again. Following my pros and cons from the first article, let's take a look at what Bowden has in each category. The last article was the pros and cons of getting rid of Bowden. These would be the pros and cons of keeping him. Please feel free to leave your opinion in the comments section.

Pros

- Sub Rob Spence, Bowden has a baller set of assistant coaches that are loyal to Clemson University and our goals. In actuality, I think Spence has a great play book (minus the screens) for this offense but he either chooses the wrong plays at the wrong times or he gets a comfy lead and then starts coaching not to lose.

- He is a great coach all around. He doesn't meddle too much in his assistant coaches doings. He doesn't really call anyone out in the press. He's respectful to players, coaches, officials, etc. Tommy tries to portray Clemson as best he can under incredible scrutiny and pressure. He works hard. He also makes sure his players get degrees that they can take into the post college world.

- He doesn't talk too much trash. Tommy stays classy. He looks presentable whenever he's on TV and he's not a scum bag. We don't have to worry about him going off on a month long drinking tangent culminating in a vaseline covered Bowden blowing up a bank vault or something of the like. We also don't have to worry about major NCAA violations ever. The guy and his program are so squeaky clean that it's almost too good to be true.

- Hate to bite the bullet here and seem like a Tommy Bowden Kool-Aid drinker, but he is the best thing we've had since Danny. He's improved facilities as well as brought back our recruiting presence. Season ticket sales are at an all time high as are IPTAY donations. Most importantly, we're consistently ranked in the top 25, even top 15. What's more is we've been finishing ranked lately as well. I sat through those 1992 (5-6), 1994 (5-6), and 1998 (3-8) seasons. I grew up with that. I can't go back to that and with Tommy around, we're almost guaranteed not to go back to that.

- He still has a smokin' daughter. In fact, I'm putting out an APB for her. Someone figure out what she's doing nowadays, so I can, uh... just find out where she is. You don't need to know what I do with the information afterwards.

I do enjoy the fact that Tommy really gives it to the referees when they make a bad call. Most of the times though he's so lost in his own tirade that he doesn't call a timeout for the booth to review.

Cons

- As many fans like me, I want my hard nose, up the gut Clemson football back. I want to go back to the days where the center and guards were bigger than the tackles. Where the running back shouted at the linebackers "I'm coming through the A gap, try and stop us" before the snap. He allows Spence to coach way too east and west and not enough north and south.

- He just can't seem to string together an entire season. Either we endure a scenario where we come out of the gate laying in our own shit, have a mid season pity party, or an end of the season crash and burn. I can't take the Clemson Football Rollercoaster. I constantly feel like the kid that's a little too drunk to be on the ride at the amusement park and my brain is constantly telling me, "Oh god. Dude our mouth is watering really bad. The stomach says everything is on the way out. GET OFF THIS THING." I feel as if his team's positions go in cycles that Bowden can't manage to sync together. One year we have a stellar offense except the O Line, etc, etc.

- The Bowden's used to be known for their trick plays and most of the time those risks panned out for us. So why did we stop taking them? I feel that sometimes Tommy needs to take the reins and call a few plays of his own, but doesn't. I feel as if he's never actually put together a playbook of his own and called his own plays. He just hires people to do it for him and stands there, shrugging his shoulders when things don't work out. At least Spurrier has the nuts to say "Yeah, I called that play. I made that decision. That's my fault, I fucked up."

- He schedules out of conference cupcake teams. If we are going to consistently go 8-4 or 9-3 in the regular season, let's play some real teams. Stop fluffing your schedule and let's get dirty.

- It's been nine to ten years since he signed up for the job and he hasn't brought us any hardware that actually counts for something. He's brought us a few memorable wins, but how about a few memorable championships, is that too much to ask in a decade?

- For big games, we deep dick the opposing team and put them in a hole Then we play conservatively and hope that we can hang on and that we don't lose. Now, this is Spence's fault but Tommy needs to know when to say, "Hey, put the foot on the gas and not the brakes, pal." Let's just do what we did to Wake Forest and keep pounding it out.

What Bowden needs to work on

- The offensive play book is good, it just needs a few tweaks (Getting rid of screens, stop running plays that haven't worked all season). As of now, it is still a little too home run centered and not enough pound it out. Perhaps this could be discussed in the contract meeting.

- Maybe we should start focusing more on defensive and offensive linemen and the talent players will follow. We need to stop getting small linemen with good technique out of high school and trying to build them up size wise once they get here. Let's just find some hosses and work on their techniques.

- When he restructures his contract, perhaps he should offer to take a pay cut as a trade off for more years. That money lost should be filtered into the incentives of his contract. He should also lessen his buy out because sometimes it feels as if he is holding us hostage. He hasn't won anything yet, so he is still unproven. The honorable thing to do would to stop digging in our pockets when he hasn't earned it yet. He feels like that buddy that always borrows money, but probably won't get you back. "C'mon man, you know I'm good for it."

Now again, I'm not attacking Bowden or defending him. I'm just throwing this out there and it's how I feel. If you don't agree, let me know in the comments. If you're just disagreeing to disagree, there's a bunch of neanderthals in a jerk circle over at the Tigernet forums waiting for you.

2007 ALL-ACC TEAMS

The 2007 All-ACC Football teams were announced today and Clemson places 4 Tigers on first team offense and an puzzling 0 on first team defense. James Davis, Aaron Kelly, Barry Richardson, and Chris McDuffie all receive first team nods. Cullen Harper was tapped as second team quarterback. Clemson's defense is 10th nationally in points per game allowed, second in the league only to Virginia Tech, 5th nationally in yards per game allowed, again second in the league only to VT, yet they place nobody on the first team defense and only Michael Hamlin on the second team. Don't worry though, North Carolina placed 3 of their defensive wonders on the second team. Announcers referred to our D at times as the "no-name defense" and apparently the ACC sportswriters agreed. I hope you don't have to ask if the Tigers placed anybody on special teams All-ACC teams. Congrats to all the Tigers who made the team, and to Phillip Merling, you were robbed, man. Robbed.

MONDAY NEWS ROUNDUP

Ted Roof has been fired at Duke after racking up a 6-45 record in three and a half seasons.

Chan Gailey has been fired at Georgia Tech. It's been said that he neither improved nor worsened the team during his tenure. That, coupled with an 0 for career record against Georgia, got him the boot. He was 44-32 at Tech and 28-20 in the ACC. There are some amusing takes on the firing on this Atlanta-Journal Constitution page. Look for GT AD Dan Radakovich to go after Jimbo Fisher of FSU. Radakovich was the Associate AD at LSU while Fisher was there. Paul Johnson's name will also be in play, I'm sure.

The Nebraska Cornhuskers are looking at LSU's Bo Pellini and Buffalo's (and former Husker) Turner Gill to fill the gaping hole left from the burnination of Callahan.

Former Packers coach Mike Sherman has been hired at Texas A&M. That was quick.

In non-sports news (unless you count rocking the fuck out as a sport, and you should) Kevin DuBrow of Quiet Riot died today at age 52.

Shhh.....Silence... for 365 days, please.

OH THANK GOD

I'VE GOT FAERBER FEVER.

Clemson 23, Sakerlina 21

Mark Buccholz boots in the game winner as time expires, saving Clemson from a virtually self-inflicted loss. The playcalling down the stretch, as it's been most of the year, was questionable at best. Clemson lead the game 17-7 at the half and hung on for dear life. Congrats to the Tigers, and our hats are off to the Gamecocks, who played extremely tough.

I don't like to take a victory like this and rub it in to the opposing fanbase, and I'm not doing that now. I am, however, listening to the Carolina 5th Quarter call-in show. The DJ clearly has been screaming his lungs off the entire game and sounds like his diaphragm is roast beef about now. Listening to this is icing on the cake. The talk is about Stephen Garcia as the savior of the program, about whether or not Spurrier is the man for the job, and all sorts of what have you. The fans are really going after Spurrier hard. Maybe the best call so far is questioning whether or not Shane Beamer is really Frank's son because he doesn't have the same special teams prowess and he "doesn't have that big growth on his neck, and I thought that thing was hereditary." Check it out if you're up.

SAKERLINA PREVIEW

#22 Clemson (8-3, 5-3) @ South Carolina (6-5, 3-5). Saturday, November 24, 7:00 PM, ESPN2, XM Radio 191.

Line: Clemson -2.5

Edge Goes To:

Offense: Clemson

Defense: Push

Special Teams: Carolina, Succup can actually make field goals. Buccholz has a field goal percentage of 63%.

Intangibles: Sakerlina - They've had a bye week to prepare and have their pride on the line after losing 4 straight. One could say this is a push, being a rivalry game and Clemson also reeling after losing an important game, but when team preparation is the issue Spurrier gets the nod hands down.

About the Game: Clemson and Carolina have been playing each other since 1896. Clemson leads the series 63-37-4. Sakerlina beat Clemson at home last year 31-28. If Carolina beats Clemson this year, it would mark the first time since 1970 that they've won 2 straight in the series.

Here's what we think:

Seigler: tba

Chili: Prior to the BC game I had a bad feeling about this game. I felt that Carolina's bye-week to heal and gameplan, added to the indignity of losing 4 straight would shift a close game in their favor. Losing to BC changed my opinion very little. Call me whatever names you want, but I see us losing Saturday. Carolina's 4 losses were against good teams (well... maybe not Vandy, but they're above-average). The defense that lost its way towards the end of the season will use this game to regain their respect. The Boston College game solidified my opinion that Clemson has poor gameday coaches. Playcalling was timid and we again failed to properly utilize Spiller and Davis. Clemson's defense is stout, but was picked apart by Ryan in the 2nd half. I see Carolina reviewing that effort and while Jar-Jar is no Matt Ryan, he's looked good at times and could exploit our pass D. The tandem of Davis and Boyd has been successful at times and adds a second dimension to Sakerlina's offense. I think both teams will put points on the board and, as I usually state (and mean), I could see this game going either way. I have very little faith in Clemson anymore, and that proves the difference in my preview.

Sakerlina 34, Clemson 33 :(

Willy Mac: Honestly, I've had little or no time to think about this game because I know whats going to happen. I've been in Detroit all week pretending (as Chili says) to be a Green Bay fan (I jumped on the band wagon in 1996 for the Super Bowl win, so yes, I'm a t-shirt fan with no actual ties to the team itself but more on that later). I'm not going to lie to you or make you feel better about the game or nurse you. Let's be realistic, Chili is right. They've had two weeks to prepare. What momentum we had is completely gone. South Carolina wants this game badly and I just don't see us being able to pick up the pieces. I'm not saying I'm rooting for us to lose, but I'm fully expecting it. I hate hearing Carolina fans talk crap too and I don't know if I'll be able to stomach it for another year, especially if we lose to a six win Gamecock team. I wish I could make you happy and cheer you up about this game, but no. Sorry. I wish I had Peter Frampton to help me out like that fugly chick in the Geico commercials... that would make things infinitely better. In totally unrelated news, I just got an email to my student webmail account that states that the police have spotted a GODDAMNED WILD PANTHER ON CAMPUS. Just thought I should let you know. Oh, they also said "not to approach the wild animal" and to "let the police handle the situation." Stupid country cops.

Clemson 17, South Carolina 31

CLARIFICATIONS AND OBSERVATIONS... AND RHYMING

First of all, I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. I'll spare you the Tigernettish jokes about saving the chicken for Saturday.

Recently we've been getting more pageviews and inquiries from Clemson fans and other bloggers. One of the questions we are often asked is "What are you guys all about? Are you guys pulling for Danny to come back and coach at Clemson?" I thought I'd take a minute and clarify our position on this matter. The name of our blog, Danny Ford Is God, is meant as tongue-in-cheek. We wanted something that would immediately provoke a reaction from Clemson fans and detractors alike. It is, in part, playing off of the deification of Danny Ford displayed by so many old timers when talking about Clemson football. It's a condemnation and celebration of the Danny mythos. We love Danny Ford and have the utmost appreciation for what he did for Clemson (the good, that is, we like to forget about the probation). We also recognize his time has past. In no way do we want him to come back and coach Clemson. Another blog formed this year, Tommy Bowden Is God, which seems to be a response to this site from a pro-Tommy perspective. The thing is, we're not anti-Tommy. The name of our site isn't serious, we don't laud Danny each week as they play up Bowden's efforts. We're just a Clemson sports blog that tries (and sometimes fails) to add a little humor to the equation, not to take anything away from TBIG, they do a good job. As for Coach Ford, we wouldn't mind him being individually recognized in the Ring of Honor, but likely that'll never happen since a compromise was made and his name was added below the 1981 team in the ROH.

Next, there's been a lot of talk on Tigernet about how "true fans" (no such thing) don't criticize their head coach. Bullshit. While many people consider it the duty of a fan to support his or her coach, are we not ultimately fans of Clemson? Clemson is bigger than Tommy Bowden. I am a Clemson alumnus, my allegiance is to the University, not to any one man be he president or head coach. My allegiance to Tommy is tenuous and reliant upon his success at the university. I am not obligated to support him win or lose, just as I would not be expected to continue to support morally or financially a president or professor who fails to do perform to an expected level. I am not calling for him to be fired, that's not up to me and we're not going to get into that. Personally, no ACC championship in 9 years is pitiful, but we'll see how the rest of the season goes and what our administration decides to do, which is likely nothing. Winning the 2003 Peach Bowl is Bowden's crowning achievement in 9 years. Is this acceptable to you? Take it to the comments section.

Lastly, we got this photo from Jessica, one of our readers, of her rivalry week decorations.

Awesome.

THE CURSE OF DANNY FORD, BY SAMBO

The Curse of Danny Ford

We’ve all heard of the Curse of the Billy Goat, the Curse of the Bambino (now, twice broken), and even the Chicken Curse (a curse created to hide the fact that their school is just terrible at, well, everything), which brings me to my theory. Why can Clemson not get over the proverbial “hump?" Simple, the Curse of Danny Ford! To better understand the hex that has fallen upon our school, here is a brief glimpse into history (cue the fog machine and strobe light):

• After the 1978 regular season, the young Clemson Assistant Coach Danny Ford took over as Clemson head coach after Charlie Pell left for Florida, with his first game and win being in the famous Woody Hayes upper-cut game in the 1978 Gator Bowl.

• From 1979-1989, Danny compiled a 92-29-4 (.760) record, a 6-2 bowl record, five ACC Titles, one National Championship, and several wins over Hall of Fame coaches including Joe Paterno, Bobby Bowden, Tom Osborne, Barry Switzer, Woody Hayes, and Vince Dooley.

• In 1989, Clemson Athletic Director Bobby Robinson freaked out over the NCAA questioning Danny’s program about possible violations for the second time in his tenure and a feud with the coach over wanting to build an athletic dorm for just football players. So, Robinson hastily pushed the coach out the door. Thus putting an end to the Danny Ford Era at Clemson, despite having won a National Championship in the previous decade, despite having won five ACC titles in ten years, and despite making Clemson a national football presence.

• Angered and confused, Danny didn’t coach for a couple years until he accepted the coaching position at Arkansas in 1993 and was fired in 1997, finishing with a 26-30-1 record. Despite the poor record, he did leave his successor, current head coach Houston Nutt, with plenty of talented players which lead to 9-3 and 8-4 records in his first two seasons.

• As for Bobby Robinson, shortly after firing Danny, the Athletic Director was canned by university president Max Lennon due to pressure from boosters because of his letting go of arguable, the best coach in Clemson football history. As a side note, when Robinson was approached in a Clemson parking lot by local newscaster, Stan Olinick, a scuffle erupted between the two, on-air, when Olinick demanded Robinson explain himself about Danny’s termination. That explanation has still not been given to this day.

• Clemson then hired Arkansas head coach Ken Hatfield, who coached for Clemson for the next four years finishing with a respectable 32-13-1 record and an ACC title.

• In 1992, the Curse of Danny Ford befell on Clemson University.

How does all of this gibberish constitute that Clemson is cursed? Well, Clemson’s most successful coach in history was fired over a dispute with the athletic director. This was a situation that was far from worthy of Danny getting fired over, and a situation that could have easily been solved, however, that was not the case. Getting rid Danny Ford for Clemson is the equivalent of the Boston Red Sox trading Babe Ruth to the Yankees. Therefore, The Curse of Danny Ford was born.

Now, you may ask, “Sam, Ken Hatfield won an ACC title after Danny Ford left, doesn’t that negate your Curse theory?” You would think that, you naïve fan you. Hatfield won an ACC title with Danny’s players and if the man was going to curse our school, he didn’t want to punish his own players still at that school. So, the curse did not set in until 1992 season when Clemson missed going to a bowl game for the first time since 1977 (if you don’t count the years Clemson was on probation in the 80’s).

To further prove my point, here is a look at Clemson’s mediocrity of a program since Danny’s departure in an easy-to-read chart:

Year	Final	ACC	Bowl
	Record	Finish
Ken Hatfield Era/Error
1990	10-2	5- 2 (2nd)	W - Hall of Fame Bowl v. Illinois
1991	9-2-1	6-0-1 (1st)	L - Citrus Bowl v. California
1992	5-6		Toilet Bowl
1993	8-3		W - Peach Bowl v. Kentucky
Tommy West Era
1994	5-6		Mediocre Bowl
1995	8-4		L - Gator Bowl v. Syracuse
1996	7-5		L - Peach Bowl v. LSU
1997	7-5		L - Peach Bowl v. Auburn
1998	3-8	1-7 (T-8th or last)	Does Last in ACC go to a Bowl?
Tommy Bowden Era
1999	6-6	5-3 (2nd)	L - Peach Bowl v. Miss St
2000	9-3	6-2 (2nd)	L - Gator Bowl v. Virginia Tech
2001	7-5	4-4 (T-4th)	W - Humiliation Bowl v. La Tech
2002	7-6	4-4 (T-5th)	L - Tangerine Bowl v. Texas Tech
2003	9-4	5-3 (3rd)	W - Peach Bowl v. Tennessee
2004	6-5	4-4 (T-6th)	Declined Bowl Invitation
2005	8-4	4-4 (3rd*)	W - Chump Sports Bowl v. Colorado
2006	8-5	5-3 (T-2nd*)	L - Music City Bowl v. Kentucky
2007	8-3*	5-3 (N/A)	Yet to be determined
*Atlantic Division Standing

As you can see, The Curse of Danny Ford has plagued Clemson football and explains a possible deeper meaning to their non-success in the past decade and a half. Since the curse, Clemson has done nothing worth of note on the national scene and their best bowl appearance was in the 2001 Gator Bowl when they got destroyed by the dog killer, Michael Vick and his Hokies. Also, in the past three years, Clemson has been a total of five points away from playing in the ACC Championship, but for some reason, were unable to get there. It’s as if a higher being or force won’t allow Clemson to make that one extra play or make one more field goal to win the one game that they would need to be considered something other than chokers and possibly even lovable losers. When other fans watch Clemson in big games, they all watch just to see when Clemson will blow it, when they will fold and create another chapter of Clemson football losing in dramatic fashion. Inevitable dramatic fashion.

Spinach is to Popeye as Chaw is to Danny Ford.

The Curse of Danny Ford is the only possible explanation for Clemson football not being able to be contenders, not being able to win, and being able to stop this rollercoaster of emotion, we fans call a season, in the station for good.