BRIEF MONDAY NIGHT NEWSAMANIA

- Over the weekend Clemson picked up three star linebacker Corico Hawkins out of Milledgeville, Georgia. Apparently to those in the know, although he is only a three star Hawkins is really nasty and a very physical player that could definitely help bolster the Clemson defense for years to come.

- Former Clemson Track athlete and Olympic gold medalist Shawn Crawford and current Tiger Track member Travis Padgett are competing for the United States in the 200m and 4x100m relay, respectively. Crawford will start on Monday morning, August 18th and Padgett will see action on Thursday night, August 21st as per the Beijing Track schedule (I have no idea if these times are Chinese time or American time, so, go figure.)

- Rashaad Jackson is out with a torn quad tendon as via the ESPN article written by Heather Dinnich (who is becoming hotter the more I read her articles). The good news is that he is going to be replaced mostly by Jamie Cumbie who came to Clemson as someone who didn't even look like he was on the team to entering fall camp as a ten foot tall beast man who enjoyed mushing Kenneth Page's face in a practice fight that occurred a few days ago (Page cut block Cumbie, so, another freshman lives and learns.)

- Clemson had a scrimmage this past Saturday, read more here. On a lighter note, I had a buddy who was actually listening through Dan Scott's show the other morning, discussing the speed rating of Willy Korn on NCAA Football 09 with a listener. Apparently the caller was upset that Korn only had a 74 speed rating in the game. He felt that Korn would be better suited as a 76. Did this really happen? Seriously? Is this how bad it has gotten? Even more so, two freakin points?!?!?!? If you ever feel the urge to listen to that station, let me save you some time:

Host: Go ahead caller, you're on 104.9 THE DRIVE!

Caller: Welp, let's talk about the upcoming season for [Clemson/Carolina].

Host: Well, the offense looks great, but the could be better. The defense is stout but it still needs improvement. Overall, you're looking at either a national championship contender or a dreary sub .500 season.

Caller: Well, how can ya tell there buddy?

Host: During the scrimmages and practice, the offense and defense have looked evenly matched but have shown FLASHES OF BRILLIANCE! THEY'RE GREAT! I LOVE THEIR CHANCES AND YOU SHOULD TOO!

Caller: Welp, thank ye there pal.

Host: Next caller, you're on 104.9 THE DRIVE!

Caller: Welp, let's talk about the upcoming season for [Clemson/Carolina].

[Repeat, ad nauseam]

- Lastly, even though I'm not voting for him, it's still pretty damn funny. Enjoy:



Personally, I'm voting for Robot Nixon. I LOVE HIS CHANCES AND YOU SHOULD TOO!

UNDAUNTED COURAGE: THE SEMI-FICTICIOUS EPIC THAT IS PETER LALICH'S LIFE

Peter Lalich is a man among men. A mountain bear of a man with a football as a chew toy and a neolithic stone arm from outer space. But no, Lalich wasn't just born into greatness. He had to hit the baptismal fire of life head on in a crazy windmill fashion that only he could pull off with awkward smoothness. Perhaps you have already seen his AMAZING WIKIPEDIA ENTRY. If you haven't seen it, this is unacceptable. Fortunately, I'm here to not only provide you with a link to the article but to also to fill in the gaps that were left out. This is the amazing (semi) true story of one Master Peter Lalich navigated by yours truly with the assistance of a few facebook pictures (thank you public domain laws!)...

Peter Lalich: Harder than galvanized steel... forged in Springfield, Virginia

Young Peter was born on May 18th, 1988 to... uh... Peter Lalich who then subsequently... uh, named his son... Peter... after "Pistol" Pete Maravich. Ipso facto, Peter Lalich is a reincarnation of Pete Maravich but with a penchant for football, not basketball. He then grew up and did some rather insignificant stuff until the day he picked up his first football and threw it into the next neighborhood. Unfortunately for Peter, athleticism can't buy you friends at such an early age and he remained in a secluded sect of youngsters that is usually dominated by tall, goofy kids that nervously interact as little as possible with peers. Life was hard for Peter in Pop Warner, little did he know that life was only about the get much harder.

Lalich, like his hero Jack Lambert, was accustomed to losing teeth in his early football years due to his vicious and often raucous style of play.

The mental toughness that would later show in his UVA years was constructed in searing heat as well as hurricane type storms under thundering skies while practicing and learning from Coach van Gouda at Springfield Middle School. Most of his toughness, as one might assume occurred on the field, actually came from what happened between bells during school. Teenage years can be harsh on a youth, but due to Peter being the "tall, ugly, goofy kid," puberty took it's toll twice as hard on him. At lunch he was relegated to sitting by himself or sitting with the kids that were a hodgepodgery of cracking voices, pimples, and dorkishness. Lalich decided to walk the lonely road... furthering his journey down a war beaten path.

Next came high school. Still no friends. Still no girls. Still a big ug. Peter experimented with Puka shell necklaces, neon green hat/pink shirt combos, feuax burberry sweaters pulled low, and taking pictures with his arms crossed and his greasy bangs pulled into his face. It can't really be explained in mere words. Thus, the photo journal:





It kinda makes me miss high school myself. Things changed however. Peter got a letter telling him he's got a full ride to UVA. Given natural high school social dictation, within minutes he's got everything he could ever want. Parties, chicks, etc. It doesn't matter that he's one ugly mother now. All of that goes away when ya sign with the Wahoos. Especially when you're buried on the depth chart. That's where the real action is. Simply put, Peter Lalich is the fucking man. He's the Bomb.com. Seriously.

In fact, you should friend him on facebook, immediately. The reasoning behind this is the fact that he gives almost daily inspiration in his status updates ranging from statements like "Peter... snow so white, only thing missin is 7 dwarfs" and "Peter... str8 like arm hair." I teared up when I read " Peter... I just do my pete and everytime i speak my sentences are complete LOLOLOLOL."

More so, Peter Lalich knows people. Want tickets to that Skid Row concert minutes before the show? No worries, Peter already has someone stuffing your tickets AND backstage passes in Will Call as we speak. He's got you front and back. You wanna roll with Peter to lunch? Sure thing. He'll just pick up his Kia Sorrento that the dealership lends him and be on his way over. Onward to lunch as you're further impressed that EVERYONE KNOWS PETER. Even the people at Moe's shout to him as he enters! Peter Lalich is a Campus Legend. In fact, he coined the phrase and sent it along to the NCAA football game developers, via e-mail... on his Blackberry. Stunningly, he's so amazing that he even lists Rivals.com as his personal website on facebook!

What's that? You want some beer? Oh he's got you covered man. He's got a fake that can get him in anywhere in town. No problem. Most of the times he just skips the line and goes right in without waiting or getting carded! You know why? Cause he's on the fucking football team... that's why. Just let him go in this seedy gas station and get it for you... He'll be back in two seconds with a case of warm Natty Ice that we can shotgun. *fast forward* See dude, here you go. I told you. Peter is the man. He can... dude, you've got a cop behind you and he's pulling you over. Shit. Dude, our parents are gonna be so pissed. Turns out Peter isn't the man. He's just some strange looking dude who gets drunk, shows up to your party uninvited, gropes the girls at your party, drinks your beer and eats all of your food in the fridge, passes out in a puddle of his own vomit in your front yard, and hopefully... maybe one day he might be lucky enough to have a bad acid trip and go nuts in the middle of your neighborhood street. Ah, the life of a struggling back up quarterback. This is where it begins, Peter. Please stay the course because personally, I enjoy a long drawn out downfall.

WEDNESDAY NEWSGASM

ESPN's Heather Dinich has a nice writeup of Cullen Harper on her ACC blog. The post touches on Cullen's dad Jeff's national title with Georgia in 1980 and Cullen's pursuit of a title to call his own.

According to ScoresandOdds.com, Cullen is a 20-1 shot for the Heisman.

DeAndre McDaniel was not punished by the Clemson student judicial review board last week and will remain on the team for the time being. The board did, however, retain the right to revisit his situation if new evidence is provided. His future with the team remains in limbo and will largely rest on his criminal hearing later in the year. Read about it here. Coach Bowden has shown a willingness to dismiss players who have run-ins with the law. As badly as Clemson needs McDaniel, Bowden will likely stick to form and dismiss McDaniel if he is found guilty. The biggest question mark here is what Bowden will do with McDaniel until trial.

Clemson-Bama is 52 days away but Deep South Sports proves the tat battle has already begun.

Sakerlina fans have been smearing a nasty little rumor around SC and Clemson boards as well as whatever other boards they can weasel into. Some mouthbreathers are claiming that someone - fans, boosters, or even coaches - is mailing out negative information about the Gamecocks to potential recruits. O-kay. What negative mailings are those? The South Carolina media guide? The State Newspaper? Clemson needn't spread negative publicity about Sakerlina, they do a damned good job of that by themselves. Witness a fanbase so delusional they must create boogeymen and conspiracy theories to explain to themselves why they're being outrecruited by the Tigers.

Here's the Clemson version of the localized NCAA 09 commercials. Enjoy.

Buy NCAA 09! Now with new... er.. rosters.

OP TO LSU: GTFO

Coach Purnell has denied any speculation that he would entertain an offer for the LSU head coaching job, stating that he has "long range goals for this Clemson program. We just announced a contract extension three weeks ago and I am happy here."
Article.

BIG BASKETBALL SIGNING SOON...

Perhaps it is a sign of progress in the Clemson basketball program that the Tigers are about to beat out Florida, Georgetown, and UCLA for one of the top basketball prospects in the 2009 class. Milton Jennings, of Pinewood Prep in Summerville, is on the verge of announcing he'll be a Tiger.

OTHER TIGERS SEEK PURNELL

According to this article in the Seattle Times, Oliver Purnell is believed to be LSU's prime target for their vacant head coaching position. Joe Alleva just left the AD spot at Duke to take the same spot at LSU (great pickup, take the guy who massacred the lacrosse scandal and let football absolutely flounder) so there are already some ACC ties there. I'm not clear whether Purnell has signed his contract extension with Clemson yet. Could be interesting, but I hope we hang on to OP.

TOMMYBOWDENISGONE.COM?

Coach Tommy Bowden is one of three candidates for the now vacant Arkansas head coaching job, along with Michigan DC Ron English former Arkansas assistant Gus Malzahn. Sources say Tommy is the top choice and Arkansas is ready to offer him over 2 million dollars a year. According to this article from the Hogs' Scout.com page, an offer has been made by Arkansas and Clemson has made a counter that a Clemson sources thinks probably won't be enough to keep Bowden. Conflicting reports continue to state that Bowden has no desire to leave Clemson. Coach Bowden has been quoted as saying he'd stay as long as Clemson wants him, though how much of Clemson actually wants him is up for debate. As is the norm, all of this stuff is highly speculative and subject to the old "an inside source says" gimmick, so take it with a grain of salt.

As reported earlier, Terry Don Phillips and Coach Bowden had been in contract extension talks, but word is that Tommy was only being offered a raise of "only" 400K, but more importantly his buyout would be lowered to 500K. It is highly likely that Tommy is only using the Arkansas interview and subsequent speculation to get a longer, fatter contract with the Tigers.

**Update - Judging from this article on the Charleston Post & Courier website, Bowden has revealed to sources close him that he is staying. Thanks for nothing, Arkansas. It's apparent that Tommy got one of his old buddies (Jeff Long, Arkansas AD) to help him reach deeper into Clemson's pockets. All I'm saying is that you'd better produce Tommy. - Willy Mac

A LOSS GREATER THAN ANY 1 GAME...MAYBE 2

Goodnight, sweet prince. You died as you lived: drunk and confused. He will forever serve as a cautionary tale to warn us never to go bobbing for fried turkey.

TDP DOWNPLAYS ARKANSAS AD JOB

According to this morning's Post & Courier, Terry Don Phillips has not officially spoken to anyone at Arkansas about the job, and states that he doesn't want to discuss the situation further. We reported rumors that it was a done deal, and though TDP is currently downplaying the situation, we still expect him to leave for his alma mater.

"Later, punks."

RAMPANT RUMORATION

Expect current Clemson Athletic Directory Terry Don Phillips to be announced as the new AD at Arkansas (his alma mater) on Wednesday of this week. He has long been rumored to be heading there, but word from those close to the situation say a press conference will be held this week. Terry Don was not in Myrtle Beach to see the baseball team play in the regional, fueling the speculation of his forthcoming departure.

SPRING PRACTICE RUMORATION

- The AD/IPTAY grapevine has edjumahcated me that Willy Korn has jumped from fourth on the depth chart to second in line. I knew things would get interesting, just not this soon. Oh yeah, and expect a barrage of excuses and denials from Bowden on the subject, but this info is pretty credible and solid. Expect Tigernet bandwith explosion in five... four... three...

I wonder how fast it takes for Bowden to throw Cullen Harper completely under the bus.

TDP 4 AD @ UA?

With Frank Broyles out at Arkansas, the Razorbacks are looking at one current and one former Tiger as possible replacement ADs. Terry Don Phillips, who played for Broyles at Arkansas, has stated publicly that he has not been contacted for the job, but it seems inevitable that they'll come calling. Ken Hatfield, the much-maligned former Clemson and Arkansas coach has also had his name thrown in the bubbling stew of rumoration. Greenville News article on the subject.

SIGNING DAY RESULTS

Clemson signed a good class yesterday, ranked as high as 14th and as low as 26th nationally. something to be proud of. (Click here for the results) However, it could have been a great class akin to what our feathered friends in Columbia landed, if it weren't for interference from the academic administration of Clemson. I'm not referring to recruiting kids who can't meet minimum standards of the university and NCAA Clearinghouse. I am referring to recruiting kids who meet all academic standards, only to have a university board force the coaches to call up the recruits the day before signing day and ax their scholly. Mickey Plyler, Clemson alumn and local radio show host/blogger, sums the situation up perfectly here.

This entire situation brings to mind the clash between academics and athletics that occurred during, and ultimately ended, the era of Danny Ford. Uttles and some of our older Clemson fans will understand the Ford situation better than I and can probably explain the similarities a bit better.

Plyler details the situation better than I could ever hope to, so read his blog for the nuts and bolts of the fiasco. My thoughts on it are basically it seems the administration is handicapping the efforts of our football team. How can Clemson turn the corner if they can't recruit the same players as our biggest competitors? How can I throw my support behind a football team I know will always be an 8-4, 8-5 alsoran? I don't believe in sacrificing academic integrity for the sake of athletics, as many big time programs have done, but I also think it's silly to hold our athletes to the same standard as a Duke or Vanderbilt. You can't tell me that Dwight Jones couldn't make our academic standards but had no problem meeting those of UNC, a top 10 public university.

Read the Plyler blog and let me know what you think about the situation. Things are going to be nasty in Tiger Town for a while now and this might result in a new coach or a new president, at the very least.

RUMORVILLE, U.S. AND A.

Please heed the fact that these are, once again, rumors.

It's reported that Rich Rodriguez, former Clemson Offensive Coordinator and current West Virginia head coach has been making phone calls to Clemson Assistant coach Ron West. Apparently Rich Rod needs help with linebackers?

Also, NC State and head coach Tom O'Brien are snatchin up some coaches like a muhfugga. They've gone pillagin across the land and they're pitch forks and torches have come to Clemson, SC. They've got their eye's set on David Blackwell. If we lose him and Dabo Swinney, we're going to be in trouble in the recruiting department. Looks like the entire coaching staff is putting on their swimming trunks and wanting to jump ship if Bowden gets the boot. Or... is it all part of Bowden's plan to keep his job? The old "If I go, they go" deal.

DFIG still searching for some credibility: "Man, we ain't found SHIT!"

MORE RUMORATION

Two days after yanking their offer, FSU has decided they still heart Jimbo and hire him as OC. Great pickup for the 'Noles.

Calvin Johnson is leaving GT for the NFL.

Sidney Rice is leaving USC for the NFL.

The ACC will name a new Director of Football Officials next week, as current Director Tommy Hunt is retiring. Doug Rhodes, a retiring backjudge from Virginia will take the spot.

Bobby Petrino of Louisville is headed to Atlanta to coach the Falcons and have his career killed by Michael Vick and the ever-nosy Artie Blank. Louisville has already found a replacement in Tulsa's Steve Kragthorpe.

RUMORS GALORE

The halls of the IPTAY office are clamoring with rumors of the Clemson football program being turned upside down. Many of our coaches are being courted by other programs and a lot of money is in the talks.

First and foremost, The University of Georgia has offered Clemson Offensive Line coach Brad Scott a juicy contract for his services to be rendered in Athens. This is official and not just a rumor. Word is that they have been talking to him since early 2006 about jumping ship.

Secondly, all I'm gonna say is that Alabama has been doing a mating dance for Dabo Swinney practically since Clemson hired him. I wouldn't blame them since he's a ridiculous recruiter for Clemson. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't pick him up now that Saban is packing his bags for Tuscaloosa.

Finally, it seems that Danny Ford has been answering prayers after all. Word is that some guys with a lot of money that swing big sticks and donate bundles of money to IPTAY and Clemson have been visiting the offices and with the higher ups about getting rid of Bowden and finding a new head coach. I don't know what it is that Bowden does to keep his job usually, but he'd better really turn up the effort.

Please, this is all rumors and watercooler talk, so don't take it as cold hard facts.