03 January 2007


You know, usually we give things two days to cool off after a loss... then one of us will write the wrap up. Well, I got to Monday afternoon and turned on my DVR and started to watch the game. Then I had to stop. It made me physically ill. A wave of terrible memories of the sights, smells (mostly of the drunk and ugly KU fans), and etc etc [insert hack material and terrible, corny jokes here] of last Friday's clusterfuck of a bowl game came rushing back to me.

Let me start by saying this much. If you like Myrtle Beach, and I mean, genuinely like the tourist trap aspect of it, then you'd love the Gaylord Hotel. The rooms and the hotel itself is nice. There's a problem though, its like five HUGE hotels connected by two giant malls and a huge courtyard. Every convention you could imagine was in Nashville staying at the Gaylord Hotel. We get to the hotel at 8 PM only to be informed that our rooms are not ready. Check out is at 11 AM. Check in is at 3 PM. We get to the hotel at 8 PM only to be informed that our rooms are not ready. On top of all this, of course we have some disgusting woman who takes no pride in personal appearance (she was more of a pear shape rather than a coke bottle... I'd never seen a fat girl without big boobs until I met her.) Then we finally get a desk manager of the age of 26 who informs us that he graduated from Hampden Sydney and that the Gaylord Hotel is HIS hotel and he will have us escorted out if we continue to act displeased, even though it is completely justified and even though we were treated poorly and we get to the hotel at 8 PM only to be informed that our rooms are not ready. Have I mentioned that? I calmly explain to him that he is a closet homosexual and his degree is worth shyte. Then we finally get the on shift manager who explains to us that the hotel is very sorry and that they have overbooked. We were finally given some decent rooms and some compensation... by the way, the hotel manager that helped us out graduated from South Carolina of all places. Long story short, the average fuse on a member of the Mac family is very short.

When we arrived at the shithole that was the Tennessee Titans stadium, it was flooded with blue and white with nary a bit of orange to be seen. We were totally outnumbered. It would have been neat if UK fans were as cool as TAMU fans, but not so much. Imagine USC fans dressed in blue and white that are far more desperate. To accompany the UK fanbase's already growing annoyingness... was their cheer. C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS! I got into an argument with a UK fan after I had simply chanted "J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS!" He asked me, "Jyust whut are ewe trayan tuh imply there sitty boy." Floored for many reasons, I stated that Clemson was far more of a country school than UK, we've just been to a few bowl games and know how to act/dress/talk/handle ourselves at them. Then I stated that any team in sports with three to six letters in it's name does the SAME stupid cheer. He quipped, "Well ya'll do it to!" I informed him that unfortunately for his argument, our cheer was steeped in rich military tradition because it is an actual cadence count that cadets would sound off with while marching... while their's was just made up *cough, stolen, cough* some drunk Saturday. Yes folks, I got into a shouting match with a UK fan over which teams cheer was better. And yes, my ego was stroked after I won. I know, I'm an idiot and an asshole. Deal with it. Well, his closing argument was "Well, yeah? Fuck you." Me. "Ok. good." UK fan. "Yeah, I said it." Me. "I heard you... congratulations on your bowl invitations the past seven years... wait... that didn't happen." The guy was plastered so I pulled anchor before fists started flying and just made my way to my seat in time for the game. The Nashville jail did not sound pleasing to me.

Finally, the game. Here is my assessment after finally making it through the replay.

- Proctor, Stuckey, the team, overall played well, but only one stat counts. I pretty much expected Proctor to blow the game but he gave a genuinely good effort and didn't screw anything up... for the most part. There were some bad decisions, but he's a first year QB so that's expected. The team played hard and for that I am proud.

- Overall coached poorly. We abandoned the running game that was killing UK. I don't understand why you would do that. Davis and Spiller had 13 carries for a combined 77 yards. Thats an average of 5.9 yards per carry. IF UK HAS TROUBLE STOPPING THE RUN, THEN RUN THE BALL. Tommy Bowden is still timid in the redzone and is now officially hopeless. Give it a few more losses like this and Tommy Bowden should find a real estate agent.

- Stupid penalties. After the second missed field goal in the first half, one of our players had their helmet ripped off. Flags flew everywhere. That's the point you pick up your helmet and walk off the field. First and goal, Clemson. But no, we've got to be the rap superstars of the college football world. A guy ran his mouth and more flags flew... offsetting penalties, loss of downs, first and ten, Kentucky.

- No Reggie... that's a shitty way to send him out Tommy, I'll never forgive you for that one. Reggie has won you games Tommy, and you don't even have the custard in you to give him ONE SINGLE CARRY.

- We got hosed ref wise. I hate to be one of those fans that blames it on that, but hey, it's true. A good referee once told me, "You know the refs did a good job if you didn't notice them during the game." Let's just say, those referees stuck out like a turd in a punch bowl. Two calls really could have changed the game. The Proctor fumble which was clearly NOT a fumble. Guess who doesn't have the nuts to throw the red flag??? Bowden. Same thing in the USC game. TOMMY, THAT RED FLAG IS THERE FOR A REASON. LIFE IS FULL OF CHANCES, TAKE ONE PLEASE. The other bad call was when the Kentucky DB clearly pushed down Chansi Stuckey in the endzone and was left wide open to make the interception. I guess that's the football gods (Danny Ford & Co.) shitting on our chests for Gardner in 2000. But Gardner didn't push off, he just positioned himself well.

- Nashville sucked overall. I never want to go back to the Music City Bowl and Tommy Bowden better not take us back there anytime soon.

Look, all I want is a championship. A real meaningful championship. It could be an ACC or natty... I don't care. Then I'll give Bowden a break if we have more mediocre seasons. I JUST WANT ONE. IS ONE OUT OF SEVEN YEARS TOO MUCH TO ASK? I guess every one trained Rocky style while Bowden was busy on his ranch for this game.

Willy Mac: Representin' the struggles of the Clemson fans that went to Nashville.

Meanwhile, suddenly stumbling on DFIG...

"Wait... is that Kunta? Oh hell no that ain't right."