30 January 2007

DSOT 14

Dumb Shit on Tigernet: Volume 14


HAY GUYS, CAN I GIVE MONEY AND RIDES TO PLAYERS? LEMME KNOW K THX.
P.S. I THINK I CAME UP WITH SOME GREAT GIFTS FOR RECRUITS. P.M. ME PLZ.



Let me delve into the mindset of Clemson fans when it comes to basketball. Well, I should say a certain sect of bandwagon fans. A lot of non-affiliated Clemson fans enjoyed rooting for our football team when they’re good, but generally there wasn’t a solid basketball squad to pull for. In this case, a lot of the fans would venture off and pull for another local team. South Carolina was out, UGa and GT were never powerhouses (minus Cremins, the 1990 Final Four, etc), so fans looked north for a team. Duke and North Carolina were both teams with tons of bandwagon fans. Clemson is rooted in agriculture, and a lot of diehard bandwagon fans tend to be good country folk. While both Duke and UNC are relatively snobbish, Duke was viewed as more elite, more “yankee-infested” and therefore a less desirable team to pull for. What I’ve seen are tons of supposed Clemson fans that wear orange during the fall and switch to baby blue in the spring. Now that Clemson’s cagers are making waves in the ACC, they’ve swayed many South Carolinians to root for the Tigers year-round. It is no stretch for me to say that Clemson fans are generally regarded as largely ignorant to the rules of basketball and the sport in general. I’ve found that this stereotype is a bit exaggerated and I think most of us know Clemson fans who know every bit as much as Tar Heel or Blue Devil faithful do on the sport, but by and large there is some bit of truth to it. This ignorance on some fans' part is the only explanation for believing Oliver Purnell worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as Coach K and Roy Williams. In my opinion, Roy isn’t quite worthy of being compared to Krzyzewski. Notice how this guy immediately picks Roy over K. Last time I looked, the guy who choked for years at Kansas only to be “Guthridged” at his alma-mater by being given an insanely talented squad and going on to win the title (finally), needs about 2 more championship banners and 7 or 8 more ACC titles and Final Four appearances to be shoulder to shoulder with K. Purnell has a lifetime ahead of him to get close to these two’s achievements. Rodgod, you’re a basketball retard.



Another reason Clemson fans tend to be laughed at by much of the ACC is their belief that the entire league is conspiring against them. The evil refs, paid by the dark lord John Swofford have sworn a blood oath to job the Tigers out of a win whenever possible. The honest and blockheaded clock mistake at the end of the Duke game has only made this belief stronger, unfortunately.

This guy was even worried about a conspiracy before the game started.



Again, Rodgod proves that even though you have a dusty fart of an idea in your head, you don’t necessarily need to share it with the world.



I’m glad kenc80 could sum it all up for us. DID YOU KNOW THAT ACC BASKETBALL REFS ARE GENETICALLY ENGINEERED FROM COACH K’S NASAL DNA AND THEY COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER DURING GAMES WITH TELEKENESIS. WATCH OUT FOR THE MINDBULLETS.



I’m not calling this post out as dumb shit, because I think the Tigers have a great chance to win in Littlejohn, but I will say just to keep this post in mind. You’ll see it again in our postgame after the February 22nd game.



To counter my ramblings above as to the loyalty and “basketball IQ” of Tiger fans, some level-headed individuals actually realized that while blaming everything on the league and the refs is fun and easy, it doesn’t always solve a team’s problems.




Some Tiger fans decided to let the loss roll off like water on a duck’s back by approaching the situation with hilarious and timely jokes clumsily ripped from last summer’s now debunked headlines!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!! LOLZ!! (also, no funny joke has ever been followed by the phrase "just having fun :-D")



These next two posts are from the people who reserved FIRECOACHPURNELL.COM the day he was hired. Seriously, we’re Clemson, and you’re complaining about 4 losses in a season? We used to roll that in a fortnight. Antebellum chronological terminology 4 life.



Caps lock: It’s cruise control for cool.



This post is a fantastic argument for IQ-based mandatory sterilization. Let’s not let these people reproduce, please.



And I’ll leave you with this comedy gold. Maybe the single most indecipherable and moronic post I’ve ever seen, and I’ve waded through more awful posts than I really care to think about.