CAN YOU FEEL THAT, CULLEN HARPER? Yeah, that's the smell of WILLY KORN'S HOT BREAF on your neck. And I TOTALLY don't mean that in a GAY WAY. According to this newspaper article I didn't have time to read - we have an EXTREME QUARTERBACK KORNTROVERSY!!!!! From what my literate friends tell me, Coach Spence is all like "MAN... KORN IS SO AWESOME, HARPER YOU EAT RAW ASS, KORN LEAD US TO VICTORY!" and Harper was like "STFU, MAN, ALL I DID WAS THROW 5 TOUCHDOWN PASSES" and KORN said "ALL YOUR SNAPS ARE BELONG TO US!" and then they CHUGGED a bunch of ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRINK and crushed the cans on the heads of orphans. EXPLOSIVO! I don't know about you, but I'm PSYCHED about KORN starting at quarterback. When a school has a quarterback controversy (or KORNTROVERSY, as I call it!!) we all win. THIS IS SO FREAKING EXCITING! Do you see what part of my seat I'm on---- that's right, IT'S THE EDGE!!!!!1!!11!one!!