12 September 2007


Here is the third (or is it forth? I don't know, I don't do it that often) installation of college football fan art. Do you have that friend, or acquaintance (or perhaps, unfortunately, it's you) that has the one room shrine dedicated to their favorite college team? I'm not saying it's a bad thing, there are just some things I wish I could change about the "college football shrine sub-culture." Mainly, the artwork. First of all, I'd prefer a nice picture of a memorable occasion (I own Woody Dantzler's last hill run and the picture of Yusef Kelly kicking that guy in the brawl). The idea of a college football painting is usually laughable and I can't believe that there is actually a market. It's like a terrible venture into fan fiction that's terribleness can only be topped by Warcraft/Star Wars/Lord of the Rings fan scripts. Today, I bring you one horrible Wake Forest painting. You'd think that with Wake being a liberal arts college and all, you might have something a little better than this come out of the mix. Hell, up until last year I was unaware that they had any sort of football following.

Isn't this nice. Two young children, too young to even know what true love is. But not young enough to understand the value of frien...... JESUS CHRIST! THERES A FIFTY FOOT DEAMON DEACON ON THE HORIZON AND ITS MARCHING TOWARDS US. These kids should pay better attention to there surroundings. Seriously, this has to be the second coming of Gozer the Destroyer. Let's just hope that there is a satellite branch of Ghostbusters, Inc. in the research triangle. Seriously, what was the artist thinking? Can you imagine the ramifications of a giant deacon trouncing about Wake Forests campus? And why does he have that half cocked puppy dog stare going on?

Imagine this, only more demonic... and more Deacony... and roaming around crushing buildings on the campus of a small liberal arts college in North Carolina.

Movie homages aside, if you look closely, that doesn't look to be a friendly embrace either. It looks like a domestic battery charge waiting to happen, though that sort of thing probably happens pretty frequently in the moonshine laden foothills of the area. You can tell that the young boy has rape on the mind because his hand is wrapped around the neck, and not just draped. Also, the girls feet look as if she is bracing for impact. Also, why are there daisies blooming in the apex of the fall? Don't those things usually come out in the spring?

Lastly, as Chili pointed out to me, what the hell are two grade school children doing wandering a college campus unsupervised? Although, you'd have to expect that to be about par with podunk North Carolina. Hey, at least they have proper clothing and shoes on.