13 August 2007

USC FANS: THE RETARDED LITTLE BROTHERS OF CLEMSON FANS

31-28 in Death Valley. There, I said it. Yeah, you beat us last year. Yeah, you beat us at home. Time to wake up though. Seriously. I'm tired of seeing all of this random sporadic bragging by the South Carolina mouth breather types on the internet. I'm also sick and tired of it outside the limits of the internet, you know, that place where us normal folks call the real world. The world where Clemson still holds a dominant 63-37-4 record over South Carolina.

You see what I did there? Get it? I combined a picture of a Homer with a picture of a Gamecock (Actually, Nolecc from Scalpem.com did). GET IT?

I'd like to examine some more important facts without sounding too much like "This is Gamecock Football". All facts provided by the College Football Data Warehouse. Here goes:

- You know how South Carolina fans are always talking about how hard their conference is and how terrible the ACC is? Well, against the ACC the Gamecocks are 189-238-22 overall. Eight of the twelve teams (Clemson, Florida State, Maryland, Miami, Georgia Tech, NC State, Duke, and UNC) hold a winning record over South Carolina. Might be best not to talk trash about a conference that has owned you. By the way, Clemson holds a 288-192-12 record in the ACC.

- You know the argument "Well the SEC is a better conference than the ACC. I bet you if Clemson was in the SEC they'd do worse." FALSE. We've played 280 games against the SEC and faired decently with a record of 109-157-14 (.414%). That's not only more games than the Gamecocks have played, but a better ratio than them as well. South Carolina has played 223 games against the SEC going a meager 68-145-10 (.327%). Hmm, guess that argument doesn't work either.

- Carolina's overall football record stands at 515-517-44 where as Clemson is 616-422-45. Wow, good luck next year cause I really hope you break even. On the all time wins list, Clemson ranks decently as 29th. Carolina is 60th. Other notable teams that bridge the gap between our two schools are Utah, Rutgers, Illinois, Kentucky, Central Michigan, Kansas, Vanderbilt, Tulsa, Louisiana Tech, and Baylor. On a list sorted percentage-wise Clemson comes in at 34th while the Gamecocks are 88th... out of 117 division 1-A teams.

- The Gamecocks hold only one regular season championship which is the 1969 ACC championship. That's a pretty bare trophy case if you ask me. Clemson has 13 ACC championships and one modern era AP National Championship. Granted Clemson is only 15-14 overall in bowl games, we still have 15 bowl victories and we've been to 29 recognized bowls. Carolina is only 4-9.

- I've heard a lot of my South Carolina friends rib me about how Clemson fans are rednecks. Ok yeah, we're an agriculture school. You're bound to have some farm boys in the mix. But both teams have their share of t-shirt fans and I think it's safe to say that USC probably holds the edge on us that category. I'll concede that defeat gladly. I worry about you guys sometimes, I really do. Also, a poorly photoshopped picture of Britney Spears in a Carolina football uniform doesn't help. On another celebrity note, having Dale Earnhardt Jr. as a big fan doesn't help your argument either. Not saying I don't like Jr. or NASCAR, but I'm just saying. Lastly, it's painfully obvious that Clemson has more stringent academic standards than South Carolina does making it a harder school to get into.


Wow, Britney Spears huh? You can have her. Funny how this photoshop was made with hindsight being 20/20.

- As I stated before, you beat us 31-28 last year. Wow, you beat us by three points in our house. I got one for you, we beat you by four points at your house the year before. Oh, and 22 points the year before that... and 46 the year before that... and seven the year before that. Cockpit, America? Please. I'd like to submit to the court room the following evidence:


Still gives me goosebumps.


DFIG's first taste of fame was ushered in with 117 Decibels.

- I'm sick and tired of all this Spurrier talk. You know what, we've heard it twice before with Brad Scott and Lou Holtz. He's not great till he has done something at Carolina. 15-10 isn't something. Granted he's a better coach than we have, head to head he's still 1-1 against us.

- Finally and most importantly... 63-37-4.