14 August 2007

WE JUST GOT SERVED!

Sure enough, Willy Mac's anti-USC post caused a proud Gamecock supporter to take offense and attempt to set us straight. I began to respond to his missive in the comments section, but I soon realized this was too good to leave in the comments section and I had to surgically demolish his tired, lame argument for everyone to see. I will also sprinkle in nonsensical and overused gif animations I feel that Jack would enjoy. Below is Jack's take on our post:

You are clearly living in the past. One that would be at best a mediocre one. Spurrier will make a regular habit of beating Tommy just like he did his daddy!

Only ACC fans think they actually have a good conference. When was the last time the ACC won the National Championship? Try to keep in in this century if you don't mind....

ACC is a basketball conference only as far as national contenders. Florida State is washed up, Clemson is and will continue to be a contender for middle of the pack and Miami will be up and down.

Meanwhile the SEC will continue to be the premier conference in the NCAA and continue to rack up national champions.

Go Cocks!





AW MAN I JUST SERVED UP A DISH OF REALITY TO THOSE CLEMPSCUM FANS!


Wow, let's begin at the beginning:


1) "You are clearly living in the past. One that would be at best a mediocre one."

Firstly, sir, thank you for your comments and for reading our humble blog. You guys are a fun rival. You know, Jack, when one has a past to be proud of and worth discussion, you can accuse them of living in it. Especially when their site is called Danny Ford Is God. There is something to be said for a fanbase mired in the past, but I submit that while Clemson fans often reminisce, they are also looking ahead to the future through initiatives like the West Endzone project and changing the inner workings of IPTAY.
Jack, you should know better than to knock a school for living in the past when you subscribe to the wannabe-prophetic ramblings of the Sakerlina "intelligencia." Every school in the South knows every USC fan's favorite saying is "Wait till next year." Is living in the past as sad as wearing garnet-colored glasses and constantly overestimating your team's recruiting outlook, conference standings, and chances for the upcoming season? I will save my take on The Great Spurrier for another part of my response, but it's safe to say some of the same amazing predictions we heard at the start of the, ahem, "Lou Holtz Era" are now conveniently recycled. There's a reason your delusional Cock lovers are referred to by snickering rivals as pre-season national champions. Pardon me if I overuse the word delusional in this post, but it's just the most absolute perfect adjective to describe USC fans.




THIS IS HOW SPURRIER MAKES ME FEEL INSIDE MY BELLY!


2) "
Spurrier will make a regular habit of beating Tommy just like he did his daddy!"

Let's now tackle another Sakerlina argument. Steve Spurrier is a great, great football coach. There's no doubt about that. USC fans have every reason to be elated he decided to take the paycheck and golf memberships and stop off at Columbia for a half decade or so. Though they've taken idol worship to a sickening new level, this is par for the course from the school that practically canonized Lou before he even got there. I respect the guy as a winner even if I think he's kind of a cunt when it comes to everything else. But his many accomplishments, Carolina faithful, have not been achieved at your school. His success as a Florida coach has fuckall to do with the Cocks. You can't claim his many admirable feats at Florida. Those are property of the Gators. You can't have them. Sorry, not yours. We can, however, deal with what the man has done to this point at USC. He is 1-1 against us and made a couple passive-aggressive swipes at us to the adoring media. He's made gains in recruiting, which is easier to do when your school will take any recruit who can legibly write his name because of the coach's whining and bitching. Not to mention those recruits who have been dropped....er... oversigned.




THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE BEING IN THE SEC, A-SHE-SHE FANS!


3) "Blah blah blah SEC blah blah blah ACC blah blah basketball blah blah"

Textbook. Fucking textbook USC fan logic. Willy Mac laid it out pretty plain and simple that Clemson not only has more wins versus SEC teams than USC does and a higher winning percentage overall. Throughout Clemson's history they've had spirited rivalries (if, admittedly, one-sided) against a number of SEC teams whereas USC quit the ACC in the 70s because their basketball team could win the conference crown and go to the NCAA tournament (clearly not a football school then, either). They subsequently floundered as an independent before attaching themselves to the mighty SEC like a remora leeching the lifeblood from an infinitely more powerful shark.
Like a parasite they've been a bottomfeeder, contributed nothing, and served only to lessen the overall health of the host. Just as Clemson basketball fans do, when USC football fans are inevitably confronted with their overwhelming inadequacies they hide behind their mighty conference. All you are doing is saying "Hey, we may not be any good, but the teams who play us and beat our ass year in and year out are pretty damned nifty and could probably do the same to your team!" You are officially the little shit-talking dog with the badass friend from the old Warner Brothers cartoons.




LOL!!!! HOW DO I PRINT OUT AN ANIMATION!? I'M SENDING THIS'N FOR CHRISTMAS!

4) "
Meanwhile the SEC will continue to be the premier conference in the NCAA and continue to rack up national champions."

Assuming you mean "national championships" and not national champions (maybe you are a USC graduate after all) this is likely true. Alabama, LSU, Georgia, and Florida are all going to be in the discussion for the near future. One team not included in that discussion, however, is your own. So shut the fuck up.

If this was a stand-up comedy act, this would be the point where I drop the mic on the ground and walk off to a standing ovation.

If this was a rap performance, here is where I would kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug and then jet.

GOOD DAY SIR.