PAC-MAN JONES FINALLY APOLOGIZES

Courtesy of SomethingAwful.com, Pac-Man Jones finally puts all the talk of his run-ins with the law to rest with his heartfelt confession "I Am Very Regretful of All the Misunderstandings Regarding the Incidents." He makes a pretty good point when he states, "First let me ask you a question. If a white man in a suit walks into an establishment with a briefcase containing 81,000 dollars nobody thinks it's anything unusual, but when a black man walks into an establishment with 81,000 in a backpack and he throws it up in the air all of a sudden everybody think you can just put all that money in a trash bag and walk up out of the club like it's yours. Now my question is, isn't that pretty messed up?"

He later goes on to refute claims that he brutalized a stripper in the post-NBA All-Star Game incident: FALSE. I do admit to pulling on her hair but only as a means of friendly redirection. As for the crazy ho putting her face into the stage, do I look like a motherfucking buttress? I am not responsible for her stability. If a nigga pulls on her hair in a polite way and she falls over that's not a crime that's just clumsiness. That's not even a penalty.