SHOW OFF YOUR MANE... MANG

The first month of the official DFIG Mustache competition is coming to a close and we are halfway through our "Freestyle" growing period as of tomorrow. If you would like to send in a photo of your hairy mandible and a description of the growth pattern you're going for, do so by sending us an email with an attached photo to dannyfordisgod -at- gmail -dot- com. We'll post the strongest showing on the site.

WEEKEND SENDOFF

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOPUP

NEWS ON CLEMSON PLAYERS IN NFL

Summer boredom has set in with me so I did you the favor of catching up with some former Tigers in the NFL and combined some pertinent links to info on each one. As always, there is a brief smattering of videos and pretty pictures to keep you entertained.

It's kinda ironic that Chansi Stuckey and Justin Miller roomed together at Clemson. It's even quirkier that they were both drafted and retained by the New York Jets. Here's an interesting point to look forward to this season: Both are coming off season-ending injuries that happened around the same time last year. Chansi has made some news, taking every bit of free time he had from the injury to improve his game and strength. It seems he will enter the mini camps slated as the number three reciever for the team. Miller is also doing well for coming back from a knee injury, as per USA Today. He seems to be earning some favorable light after he clocked some chick in a club fight last year around this time. A site by the name of MVN has listed Justin as a make or break player for this coming year, although I'm not so sure that I'd listen to an author that looks like an internet tough guy.

Tye Hill has been mentioned very little in league news as he was also sidelined with a season-ending injury but per his website he is making a strong case to turn around a terrible Rams defensive backfield (Yet again, another author who moonlights as a human train wreck working for MVN). Bernie Miklasz, who's staff picture is worse than his last name, states in what amounted to be just a long name dropping list (so what does that make this post?) that the Rams coaches seem to be pleased with his progress through OTAs. After reading this article, I came to the conclusion that if you don't take a good picture, you should put one on your columns.

Charlie Whitehurst seems to be getting cozy on the Chargers sidelines while Anthony Waters yearns for playing time. In yet another name list from yet another hideous author (this time of the female persuasion) it is stated that Whitehurst's chances at rising through the ranks might have been killed through the signing of a three year contract extension for Billy Volek, the current #2 man at QB for the Chargers. Coaches are impressed with Waters's hard drive and eagerness to play. Also, a four game suspension for Scotty Cooper at the beginning of the year could help Anthony get on the field for the first time in his pro career. Shades of Alvin Mack... minus the not going to the pros part.

Pretty much what Anthony Waters's off-season film sessions were like.

Charles "Baby Eater" Bennett hasn't seen and probably won't see playing time... ever. But hey, at least he's in the big show, makin' his money, and had a good college career that he can reminisce about and perhaps parlay him into some airtime for Clemson football in an announcing role like Patrick Sapp did.

Also with the Bucs, Gaines Adams continues to be a beast. He has, however, discontinued beasting McDonald's Big Mac's for the time being. The Buc's coaches can't wait to get Gaines back on the field as he apparently went Steve Lattimer (I promise, that's the last Program reference for this post) with his workouts this off-season and did everything short of eating the 45 plates off of the weight racks in the Tampa Bay work out room.

I couldn't find anything on Philip Merling besides this sketchy website and the following picture of him at an OTA:


This leads me to believe that the Derrick Hamilton theory might be alive and well with a PO Box address in South Beach. Although, Jason Taylor heading out of Miami has to be good news for him in some fashion or another.

Nothing new from Leroy Hill who's playing for the Seattle Seahawks. If by nothing you mean he's still considered to be one cog in the machine of one of the leagues nastiest defenses/line backing corps. Also, apparently the weather in the PAC Northwest is much more forgiving to football players than it is in the South. Who knew, right? And yes, he still looks mean as hell.

I thought that by this point in his career, Brian Dawkins aka minor god of the safety religion, would be thinking about retirement or at least plans after football. While he is doing great things in the community that some of the leagues more established players are known for doing (see his Burn Prevention Golf Tournament as well as his fight to prevent the Beetus), he is ready to go for this upcoming season and is in better shape than he's been in previous years.

B-Dawk, always reppin' Clemson in the best ways

Lastly, Nick Eason has resigned with the Steelers, participated in a few Pittsburgh area youth football camps, and has stayed under the radar for the most part.

MCDANIEL SITUATION UPDATE

Larry Williams of the Post & Courier has an update on the DeAndre McDaniel situation and tells us that witnesses have come out in support of McDaniel. Read about it here.

NEWS ROUNDUP

First the bad news. Linebacker-moved-to-DB DeAndre McDaniel has been charged with assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature after reportedly choking his girlfriend and throwing her down a flight of stairs at University Village. Here's a writeup from The State. Disgusting news, and all we can do is hope it's not true despite how it looks. Clemson earns 3 Fulmer Cup points as well.

Ray Ray McElrathbey has declined Clemson's offer of a graduate assistant spot and has decided to play football at Howard. He can begin to play immediately as they are D-IAA. Ray Ray was a credit to the program and will be missed. We wish him the best in all his future endeavors on the field and off.

Clemson will host the South Carolina Beekeepers Association this July. So, uh, that's cool.

DFIG RETALIATES

As you may or may not have... well... unless you troll tigerforums.net (which doesn't exist so I think he linked to Tiger Net) like your life depended on it you haven't. So let me introduce you to Third Saturday in Blogtober. Here's the skinny: Remember this picture?

Clemson recruit Kenneth Page

Well, this whole fiasco of Clemson supposedly droppin bills to get Page to come to Clemson was settled. We even talked about it here. TSIB also dropped a few notes on the story. Somehow, Clemson fans from said forum showed up months later, swamping the comments section of the post launching volleys back and forth. They emailed us and asked our opinion on their "lim'rick" (Yeah, it's spelled limerick but they're SEC fans so they probably have little to nil education past primer, possibly junior high so cut them some slack please. At least they got the format down!) Let's take a look at a few sections of said mispronounced literary piece.

Tommy Bowden’s daughter certainly is regal
And we can gawk at her now that she’s legal.
And we have, you can bet
She’s all over the Net
Apparently, Clemson’s new formation is the “spread eagle.”

Accompanying picture:

HAR HAR! Man, did you see that there? Whudda funny munkeey! Ain't no Lowren Bowdn but it made me layaf jus tha saym!

Three months ago we wrote a post
About Clemson recruiting the most
We thought it was dead
But Tigers weren’t fed
So they keep coming to irritate Ghost.

Speaking of beating the dead horse, how long ago did that Lauren Bowden picture hit the presses? Also, I'd like to submit Exhibit A into the court evidence. If you're gonna try and nail our dicks to the porch, make sure yours isn't there already, "...you're fuckin' hypocriticizers too. So shut the fuck up!" (I had to fit that reference in here somewhere... it's a slow month. But seriously, the movie wasn't half bad regardless on what everyone else in the world says).

Swinney’s recruiting magic made him adored
His skill at drawing in talent can’t be ignored
But it’s seems kinda fishy
Recruits are wipin’ with fifties
Takes me back to the days of Danny Ford.

Ok, fine, you got us there. But hey, he learned from the best, didn't he? Bama fans calling other programs out for cheating and dirty recruiting. That makes my eyes hurt so much that I can only look at my monitors for moments at a time so that my retinas won't burn off from the amazing stupidity venting off of their website. And yeah, I said monitors. Plural. That's how I roll. Two monitors. Somewhere there's a GT fan reading this who's jealous.

So, how does it feel, Tiger fans, when you hear
About the “real” Death Valley that strikes fear?
I can poke fun, you see
We’re the “other” UT
But at least our orange doesn’t look queer.

I made a few deductions at this point. We were actually the first Death Valley. LSU fans sometime later coined the phrase "Deaf Valley" because of the noise they could generate but as always with an SEC school, things got lost in translation. The author didn't do his research thus negating his argument and making him look less informed and intelligent on his subject matter. He clearly doesn't "KNOW HIS HIISSTRAY ON DUH EYESS EE SEE!" The "other" UT statement... was that a poke at us... or at Texas? Clarify this please. "But at least our orange doesn't look queer" You're right, your orange isn't even an orange. It's piss yellow in the Crayola box. Lastly, "queer" is a hefty adjective to be throwing around at someone when you're the one writing the limericks.

I ran out of steam, patience, and time for this article at this point but I did find the image of Richard Simmons dancing on the hill quite funny. Next time, do your home work and try to keep out of the cheesiness. Furthermore, your blog isn't specific enough in where your loyalties lie. Are you a Bama fan? Tennessee Fan? Bill Dance fan? Also, pretty good jarb considering that it comes from a grown man using the handle "Crimson Daddy." That reminds me, I need to register TigerDaddy69420 on tigerforums.net so I can join this epic battle of cunning smooth talk and debate. Lastly, big ups to Tide Druid for keeping it classy and targeting Tony Franklin as opposed to Clemson fans.

I threw in a winking smiley face so that Crimson Daddy knows it's all in good fun. TEE HEE.

ANALYZING EXPECTATIONS

The Sunday Morning QB has a brilliant article on the Tigers and the high expectations surrounding the team coming into the 2008 football season. I particularly like that they don't jump on the "we've heard this before" bandwagon that most mainstream outlets and blogs have hopped on when talking about the Tigers. Some ESPN pundit erroneously declares that Clemson has been picked to win the ACC for years without coming through and it suddenly becomes canon. It is true that the Tigers have underachieved in recent memory. Trust us, we know that as well as anyone, but we do refute the level of underachievement attributed to Clemson by most people. SMQB points out that the Tigers have also beaten expectations, and if anything it's bullshit to say Clemson is an underachieving team and more factual to say they are highly inconsistent. Tommy Bowden's tenure is a rollercoaster, not a slope.

DON'T FORGET, SEND IN YOUR PICTURES FOR MUSTACHE WAR

I'm just saying, you're all going down.

"1a) For DFIG readers, I'll give you a head start. Pictures of your shaved facial hair beside a printed date for Friday, June 6, 2008 (newspaper preferably) must be emailed to dannyfordisgod -at- gmail -dot- com. You don't even have to shave that morning, just some time that day send me a pic of your jaw area etc."

WELCOME TO THE SOUTH

I couldn't help but snap this photo of a campaign sign on my way to work the other day.

Look closer...

You might be a redneck if... you vote for this guy.

DFIG CHALLENGES YOU TO A MUSTACHE WAR

Trust me, this is gonna be awesome.

So some friends and I were chillin out maxin and relaxin all cool, and while shootin some b-ball outside the school we decided to start a mustache competition. Similar to the Australian born but internationally known competition referred to as Movember (Official site), we wanted to grow mustaches for an allotted amount of time. The original rules as stated in an email I sent to my friends are as follows with slight adjustments for privacy:

1.) Shaving commences the morning of June 7th.

2.) Growing of mustaches shall last until August 31st. Shaving of said mustache before the given date results in a disaqualification and a good ribbing.

3.) Each grower may choose their own facial hair growing pattern from June 7th until August 1st. (IE grow what you want, be it grizzly adams beard, mustache, fumanchu, etc.)

4.) On August 1st, we shall reconvene and shave everything except our mustaches. You must keep your mustache for the entire month of August.

5.) Winner will be determined by style, creativity, and effectiveness of the mustache by a panel of three judges to be named at a later date using a scale of one to ten on August 31st, 2008.

6.) Any style of mustache is accepted. Examples are as follows: Cooter, Hitler (if you so choose), Handlebar, Pushbroom/Earnhardt Sr., Triple H Handlebar, The Captain James T Hook, etc. Pencil thin mustaches do not count.

As I have now extended the competition to include our readers, some modified rules will now be presented:

1a) For DFIG readers, I'll give you a head start. Pictures of your shaved facial hair beside a printed date for Friday, June 6, 2008 (newspaper preferably) must be emailed to dannyfordisgod -at- gmail -dot- com. You don't even have to shave that morning, just some time that day send me a pic of your jaw area etc.

2a) Pictures of your mustaches must be sent in to the same email address with a printed date on August 31st.

4a) Since we are on the internet, just follow the previous instructions for 1a and 2a but for July 31st.

5a) Chili and I will do the judging.
5b) I just wanted to have a section "b" somewhere in here to justify all the sections labeled "a."
5c) All submissions will be judged a little later than August 31st, but no later than a few days (September 5th at latest.)

Don't forget about Friday!! Set your alarm! Write it on a calendar! Put a reminder on your phone! Also, tell your friends and forward this link to them. Happy growing and good luck!