20 June 2008


As you may or may not have... well... unless you troll tigerforums.net (which doesn't exist so I think he linked to Tiger Net) like your life depended on it you haven't. So let me introduce you to Third Saturday in Blogtober. Here's the skinny: Remember this picture?

Clemson recruit Kenneth Page

Well, this whole fiasco of Clemson supposedly droppin bills to get Page to come to Clemson was settled. We even talked about it here. TSIB also dropped a few notes on the story. Somehow, Clemson fans from said forum showed up months later, swamping the comments section of the post launching volleys back and forth. They emailed us and asked our opinion on their "lim'rick" (Yeah, it's spelled limerick but they're SEC fans so they probably have little to nil education past primer, possibly junior high so cut them some slack please. At least they got the format down!) Let's take a look at a few sections of said mispronounced literary piece.

Tommy Bowden’s daughter certainly is regal
And we can gawk at her now that she’s legal.
And we have, you can bet
She’s all over the Net
Apparently, Clemson’s new formation is the “spread eagle.”

Accompanying picture:

HAR HAR! Man, did you see that there? Whudda funny munkeey! Ain't no Lowren Bowdn but it made me layaf jus tha saym!

Three months ago we wrote a post
About Clemson recruiting the most
We thought it was dead
But Tigers weren’t fed
So they keep coming to irritate Ghost.

Speaking of beating the dead horse, how long ago did that Lauren Bowden picture hit the presses? Also, I'd like to submit Exhibit A into the court evidence. If you're gonna try and nail our dicks to the porch, make sure yours isn't there already, "...you're fuckin' hypocriticizers too. So shut the fuck up!" (I had to fit that reference in here somewhere... it's a slow month. But seriously, the movie wasn't half bad regardless on what everyone else in the world says).

Swinney’s recruiting magic made him adored
His skill at drawing in talent can’t be ignored
But it’s seems kinda fishy
Recruits are wipin’ with fifties
Takes me back to the days of Danny Ford.

Ok, fine, you got us there. But hey, he learned from the best, didn't he? Bama fans calling other programs out for cheating and dirty recruiting. That makes my eyes hurt so much that I can only look at my monitors for moments at a time so that my retinas won't burn off from the amazing stupidity venting off of their website. And yeah, I said monitors. Plural. That's how I roll. Two monitors. Somewhere there's a GT fan reading this who's jealous.

So, how does it feel, Tiger fans, when you hear
About the “real” Death Valley that strikes fear?
I can poke fun, you see
We’re the “other” UT
But at least our orange doesn’t look queer.

I made a few deductions at this point. We were actually the first Death Valley. LSU fans sometime later coined the phrase "Deaf Valley" because of the noise they could generate but as always with an SEC school, things got lost in translation. The author didn't do his research thus negating his argument and making him look less informed and intelligent on his subject matter. He clearly doesn't "KNOW HIS HIISSTRAY ON DUH EYESS EE SEE!" The "other" UT statement... was that a poke at us... or at Texas? Clarify this please. "But at least our orange doesn't look queer" You're right, your orange isn't even an orange. It's piss yellow in the Crayola box. Lastly, "queer" is a hefty adjective to be throwing around at someone when you're the one writing the limericks.

I ran out of steam, patience, and time for this article at this point but I did find the image of Richard Simmons dancing on the hill quite funny. Next time, do your home work and try to keep out of the cheesiness. Furthermore, your blog isn't specific enough in where your loyalties lie. Are you a Bama fan? Tennessee Fan? Bill Dance fan? Also, pretty good jarb considering that it comes from a grown man using the handle "Crimson Daddy." That reminds me, I need to register TigerDaddy69420 on tigerforums.net so I can join this epic battle of cunning smooth talk and debate. Lastly, big ups to Tide Druid for keeping it classy and targeting Tony Franklin as opposed to Clemson fans.

I threw in a winking smiley face so that Crimson Daddy knows it's all in good fun. TEE HEE.