13 September 2007

OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE AWESOMER THAN THEY APPEAR

KORNKOPTER, MOTHERFUCKERS.

CAN YOU FEEL THAT, CULLEN HARPER? Yeah, that's the smell of WILLY KORN'S HOT BREAF on your neck. And I TOTALLY don't mean that in a GAY WAY. According to this newspaper article I didn't have time to read - we have an EXTREME QUARTERBACK KORNTROVERSY!!!!! From what my literate friends tell me, Coach Spence is all like "MAN... KORN IS SO AWESOME, HARPER YOU EAT RAW ASS, KORN LEAD US TO VICTORY!" and Harper was like "STFU, MAN, ALL I DID WAS THROW 5 TOUCHDOWN PASSES" and KORN said "ALL YOUR SNAPS ARE BELONG TO US!" and then they CHUGGED a bunch of ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRINK and crushed the cans on the heads of orphans. EXPLOSIVO! I don't know about you, but I'm PSYCHED about KORN starting at quarterback. When a school has a quarterback controversy (or KORNTROVERSY, as I call it!!) we all win. THIS IS SO FREAKING EXCITING! Do you see what part of my seat I'm on---- that's right, IT'S THE EDGE!!!!!1!!11!one!!

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12 comments:

  1. thadkew9/13/07, 1:56 PM

    The ETR rules my face!!!1111!!!

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  2. Anonymous9/13/07, 2:30 PM

    Glad I turned in today and caught the EXTREME Korn Report. Korn is so awesome that he is even more awesome than awesome. There is no word for this level of awesome above awesome in English but in French it is known as "Fooking Kewl."

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  3. Anonymous9/13/07, 4:23 PM

    You lads are very clever. This whole business reminds me of the Patriots fans of the pre-Brady era who would insist that Michael Bishop was the answer.

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  4. Anonymous9/13/07, 6:35 PM

    So does this mean yall will be purchasing those corn hats to wear at the games?Excuse me;I meant Korn shaped hats.

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  5. Sambo9/13/07, 9:24 PM

    Do they sell Korn jerseys yet? I did a quick search and can only find JD, CJ, and the Fridge jerseys. How can become EXTREME if I don't even own an EXTREME KORN JERSEY?!?!one!>?

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  6. Anonymous9/13/07, 10:00 PM

    You can become extreme by doing what I'm going to do;get an orange shirt and have white letters put on the front that say,Children of the KORN.Then order you 1 of those giant corn cob hats and wear this to the rest of the games.It's what all the cool Korn fans are doing.Oh by the way,did any of you see that new movie coming out?It's called,"The KORN Supremacy".

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  7. Anonymous9/13/07, 10:07 PM

    Best. Post. EVER.

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  8. Anonymous9/13/07, 10:26 PM

    Yes, yes, "The KORN Supremacy"! I like it! Run with it, my son. Run like a young boy in a field with his sister and both are being chased by a 50 foot Demon Deacon!

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  9. Anonymous9/14/07, 12:07 AM

    Geez Willy-take a chill pill!How come you only appreciate sarcasm when you're the 1 spewing it? I would never buy a corn cob hat to wear to a CU game.However,in the past,I have been known to show up to the CU/USuCk game with a rubber chicken hanging out the front of my zipper.

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  10. Anonymous9/14/07, 8:37 AM

    Good blog! Damn right there should be a qb controversy. Who cares if cullen harper threw 5 touchdowns against tricounty tech. I wonder if anymore willy korn action figures will appear on ebay?

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  11. Steve Spurrier is God9/14/07, 10:16 AM

    I fi I were Harper I would just quit. He obviously can't win. What can he do better? Kick extra points?

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  12. Dime Piece Weekly9/14/07, 11:59 AM

    lol love the EKR!

    here is another blog that ya'll may enjoy. its just getting started, but check it out.

    http://www.urstrugglin.com/

    this isn't a clemson thing..or a USC thing..its a "Strugglin" thing.

    if you have any stories you'd like to submit, feel free to e-mail it to submityourstruggle@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete